10 Reasons Shower Sex Is Seriously The Worst And Basically Ruins Sex

10 Reasons Shower Sex Is Seriously The Worst And Basically Ruins Sex

I am all for folks trying whatever sex stuff they want, so long as it’s consensual and safe.

That’s one of the coolest facets of sex: the fact that there are nearly endless positions, tactics, and styles in which one may get down. However, it’s no secret that movies are basically lie machines when it comes to representing sex. One example: I don’t know any women who actually reached orgasm while losing their virginity. (I mean, having sex in the backseat of a 1986 Volvo is hard enough without worrying about reaching Valhalla on top of that.)

Above all non-truths perpetuated in film format and folklore about sex, I have to proclaim the gospel of shower sex literally the worst, most lie-laden one. Shower sex, despite what pop culture would have you believe, sucks so hard. It is terrible and difficult and not worth it. WE NEED TO STOP LIVING THIS LIE, YOU GUYS. There are better ways to get off.

 

The idea of shower sex as a fun thing is essentially a really mean myth I wish we would all admit to ourselves as fake. For starters, I’m pretty sure everyone who writes a steamy hot shower scene is also a person who has probably never had sex before.

They’re a person who only sleeps with obsessively tidy, Mr. Clean types. Anyway, I wouldn’t say the shower isn’t useful in getting turned on—fooling around in the shower and washing each other can be a really fun form of foreplay. But once y’all are both ignited, GTFO of there to bone without threat of drowning or slipping to your broken-hipped demise. Read more

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