Herein are 10 things I think every woman should know about sex.
- Many men and woman are totally oblivious to a woman’s signals of social or sexual interest. No response from the object of your attentions does not necessarily mean no interest. Sometimes nothing short of lifting your skirt and calling “Yoo hoo!” will get your message across. Don’t give up so easily if your subtle cues are ignored.
- You can use a diaphragm for birth control. You can also use it to hold back the flow for an hour or two during your menstrual period. This can help for a less messy sex.
- There is no way to tell if it’s love or merely infatuation until some time has passed. These determinations can only be made in retrospect.
- Variously induced orgasms may feel subjectively different or may have differing value to you personally. However, there is nothing intrinsically more “mature” or in any way necessarily “better” about an orgasm obtained through penis in vagina intercourse as opposed to orgasms obtained through any other method. “An orgasm is an orgasm.”
- The primary quality most men mention about women they consider to be great sex partners is enthusiasm – toward them and for whatever sexual act the two of you are engaging in. If you can’t muster any enthusiasm (or fake it well) you might well think twice about engaging in it at all, whatever “it” is.
- Everybody – the beautiful, the not-so-beautiful, the no longer beautiful, and the beautiful only in their Mama’s eyes – has fears about the acceptability of her or his body. If you remember that your partner undoubtedly shares these insecurities and focus less on yours and instead on alleviating his or hers, you both will have a much better time.
- When and whether a man has an erection is not necessarily a barometer of his attraction to you. Many other factors enter into it. You are likely to be seriously misled if you see his erections as indications of his attraction to the exclusion of all other indications.
- It is unrealistic and counterproductive to demand commitment. It is far more effective to request certain specific behaviors that demonstrate what you want in a committed relationship. These may be a daily call or text, the use of safer sex methods, or an agreement of sexual exclusivity. Leave the C-word out of your discussions since it often smacks of incarceration.