National Youth Service Corp, NYSC is the coming together of the Nigerian youth demographic with indifferent mindset, cultural values and moral beliefs from primarily diverse higher institutions. It is an avenue formed to create a united Nigeria, the most populous black nation blessed with natural resources, unique minds and language.
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All things being equal, it is a great privilege on my path serving this maverick nation, the experience brought slight gladness to my heart on different grounds. Some people came to explore, others to find their missing rib, well me I just have to leave Lagos.
I jammed hundreds of people, but this 10 different class of individuals busted my medulla oblongata during my meretricious observation:
- AWON WANNABE/FAKE PEOPLE: But how can somebody school in Togo then eventually develop a British or American-accent? Togo is a French-speaking country nation same with Benin Republic, but some Nigerians would come home forming accent way no gel, na wa o. if you know you wanted a British accent you could have schooled in Cambridge or Oxford university, simple!
2. THE 1ST CLASS CORPER: This one is for all those who carried the orientation camp program on their head like bread hawkers. These set of people write their names on any attendance list, they wan parade, they wan dance, act drama and engage in all the activities. please make NYSC provide 1st class degree for this people o, since they were unable to earn it in the university. If you die today, NYSC will continue tomorrow…
3. THE KNOW-IT-ALL CORPER: Some people claim to be serving for the very first time, but trust me Na lie. How can someone be so knowledgeable about the ongoing activities in all 36 states, they recognize the best and worst camp in the country, the redeployment system and everything in between. Truth be told, some people use NYSC as their source of income.
4. THE UNEDUCATED GRADUATE: Believe me, no be everybody way go school sabi spell SCHOOL! I was fortunate to meet a guy that clearly struggled to compose a proper sentence, well that’s none of my business at least he’s a graduate fa.
5. LONERS: During the 1st week of the orientation camp, some people were busy forming anti-social (me, my phone and my dark sunshades) doing me against the world, omo if you face the world alone you go just die like roadside chicken. Come see people dey socialize several days later after Mami market swallowed up everybody’s money, all the loners including those light skin girls magically became sociable and started queuing for food in the kitchen. If you like no chop, NYSC no go give you money for the empty space way dey your meal ticket, so enjoy government money while you can.
6. THE LOVE BIRDS: I met a short girl from the north but damn I have to return to Lagos from Katsina. In camp, you’ll meet nice beautiful people, some married, single and others lesbians. All things being equal there is enough love to go around if you see one sha.
7. THE FUNNY PEOPLE: my beloved people, all joy no regrets. Fun to be with, they crack you up at every available moment, no time to dull. They are magnetic with their jokes; my favorite set of people and with them, there is fullness of laughter.
8. THE REAL PEOPLE: The hustlers, bustlers and stone-hearted people who were determined to attain academic success against all odds. Their life stories and experiences made me stand in awe for them, real people know what they want and set out to get it, no gimmicks, and no time to waste emotions.
9. DEAR DELTA PEOPLE: the most sociable and most hilarious tribe in Nigeria, purposeful and bright cracks. They are too real and funny, their accent is God-given, and everything they say and do cracks everybody up. When everywhere is dulled up, the Delta people divulge the pidgin with no apologies; I like them a lot because they are effortlessly hilarious.
10. THE YANSH MAN: this friend of mine just loves to bang anything under the female white short, hmmm my nigga my niggardly I give you the Nazi salute.
Thank you all for your time and friendship; it’s my personal business doing pleasure with you. See you upfront.
corpers weee! Congratulation to everyone that passed out today. December 13, 2018.