My broda, 2016 must not be like 2015 o – Viola Okolie

My broda, 2016 must not be like 2015 o – Viola Okolie

In a matter of hours, 2015 will be over and we will be stepping into a brand new year.

Some of us may be hauling some baggage along from the previous year but some others would be wise enough to leave all the crap and mistakes of 2015 right on the doorstep of the fast expiring year and step into 2016 on a new note.

So, how did your 2015 go? How will your 2016 be? In the spirit of “dance wey go sweet dey start with nodding of head”, are you feeling the vibes already?

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> Did you spend the entire 2015 running from one tailor to the other, purchasing expensive aso-ebi or “bridal train dresses”, making up to the nines and scratching eyes out to catch the bouquet? Were you the first port of call when your friends needed someone to help ensure their wedding gifts did not go astray?

Always the maid of honour and never the bride?

> Were you one of those who would park their tattered slippers in the nearest football viewing centre, purchase one bag of pure water and spend the next 90 minutes giving yourself mini heart attacks while you yelled and argued and quadrupled and fought over football players who do not know you exist?

Fight, quarrell, make up, break up and at the end of the match, you will pick up your tattered slippers where you parked it to go and hustle N100 for bread and beans while the footballers get signed on for outrageous amounts of money you can only ever dream about?

One person gets all the worry another gets all the glory.

> Do you know the name, make and specification of every car released by every car manufacturer in the world? Can you describe to the minutest details what distinguishes a 2015 Buggati from the yet to be released 2016 model?

Yet the only key you own in your life is one broken, welded together contraption that struggles to open the OK padlock that guards the entrance to your little house of no regrets?

You “knows” the name and someone else who doesn’t give a hoot drives the car?

> Have you been involved in every social media fight going without having a single thing to fight for in your own life?

Curse Toyin Aimakhu, fight Tiwa Savage. Yab Mercy Aigbe, beef Linda Ikeji. Mock Kanye and Kim, hound Tuface Idibia?

Then when you are done mocking those who no longer worry about their next meals, you begin to “lift up your eyes towards the hill from whence cometh your help?”

> Do you troll social media from morning till night looking out for the women who are obviously NOT wife materials? You know them and can sniff them out from a distance, your sensors are that good.

This one has not married because of this, that one is divorced because of red and the other one will soon divorce because of the other thing? Do you know all the attributes of a Proverbs 31 woman yet have not been able to attract a single one to yourself?

Sometimes, it is not about the speck in our brother’s eyes but the log in ours.

My brother my sister, in the New Year 2016, please resolve to help yourself. Charity they say, begins at home.

Be the one who has friends running helter skelter looking for “tortoise blue” shoe to go with the “ijebu garri golden” gele.

Be the one whose contracts and sign-on fees attracts worldwide attention.

And why should people not fight you for being more famous than they are? Does Tuface Idibia have one head more than you?

It is easy to sit back and point fingers and make accusations, maybe far more easier to blame your village gods for the lack of progress you made in 2015… but 2016 is a fresh and clean slate.

Another opportunity to give it your best shot, but only if you are willing and ready.

Now quick, before whomever it is that has possessed my mind and hijacked my column this week returns the pen back to my usual sarcastic self; let us join hands together in an agreement prayer for a better 2016.

Dear (insert your own name here),

Receive sense for 2016.

Amen.

Happy New Year folks. Whatever stone you left unturned in the last year should not gather moss in 2016 again o.

May 2016 be your best year yet.

Live long and prosper.

Iseeeee.

 

 

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