We sure do have them regarding the quantity and diversity of mindsets on parade in the country. Nevertheless, it would indeed have translated to yet another wonder of the modern world for the most populous African nation to lack representation in any of its categories and sub-categories. Suffice that by noting that on account of the sheer numbers involved, this piece must perforce concern itself with only the three of these many permutations as announced by its title.
Taking a cue from a most recent phenomenon in the land, let us first hail the bunch of men at the helm of our affairs now. O yes, if for nothing else, for this unshakeable conviction they have that nothing can stop us from achieving an agrarian revolution here. Of course I’m agreed with them – like everyone else, I suppose – that only this will make us ever boast of feeding ourselves like upon times long past. Any wonder then that more than at any other time afore, many have taken back to the farm in pursuit of this Golden Fleece stolen from us by our gluttonous past of food importation.
What has however put this mind – and a few others, I assume – ‘under perturbation’ is the primeval silence of these helmsmen when all the cultivated farms in the entire land were recently ravaged by the rampaging cattle of the cattle-rearing wing of the revolution. Perhaps they are intent on seeing to it that nothing else is served on the national dinner table at the culmination of the struggle but red meat. Like some stormy petrel of a columnist in another paper had suggested, the guess was fuelled by the hard truth that these helmsmen and herdsmen share a common biology. Honestly, methinks that there can be no better explanation than this of a primeval set of minds at work.
If the above take is somewhat too generalised by a half on account of its spread, then it is time to go for something more idiographic. It is about this stubborn woman – as in the attribute not always portraying the negative. Her problem rather stems from being just too convinced of her creed and the Great Commission of their saviour that they spread The Word to the ends of the earth in lieu of His return. Thusly, armed with a megaphone, she wakes up her neighbours in this suburb bustling with adherents of other faiths with soul-searching messages of love and adultery of the mind. This she kept doing despite threats till one morning. While she spread the Good News the day, some chagrined members of the opposite sect attacked and butchered her to death. Now, if that’s not Neanderthal by you, I’m all ears for what ought.
Last but definitely not the least in these tales by sunlight is what to me appears the most grievous of the lot. Of course, the show never ends till the fat lady sings. However, since this ain’t ‘no damn show, the persona in question is no woman but the latest head of this misogynist concern in town who happens to be un-fat in kowtow. Firstly, astounded by the rate of growth he inherited from his predecessor, this man amongst men immediately ordered a downsizing of the conglomerate. In explanation, he propounded a theory that expounded the stupidity of a life lived on credit by any individual, let alone corporation. A man – women are absent in his lexicon – he intoned to his enraptured listeners on the day in question, should never borrow above his means.
Next, ostensibly to have only people he could trust around him, he had all the management positions manned by male members of his immediate family. The rest he saved for a few lackeys he strictly handpicked from the distaff side of his family tree – a rarest of honours to the other sex. Apart from not assigning them any crucial roles though, he often rotated them at random according to his whims that at times repeated on a daily basis. But all was to come to a head when a rather disgruntled former candidate to the post branded him of running the coy with a medieval mindset.
It was as if the world would end on the day. Work was not only stalled but plans for evacuation to another planet of the survivors of the expected landslide was already in top gear when it turned out that nothing was changing. As it turned out, the concern has in his short spell lost even the capacity for proper thought that it had so built up in the ancien regime that it had incurred the envy of its peers in reviews. For now, like they were to find out, it was just the same old wheel spinning. In fact till press time this noon, nothing indeed has been seen change but a return to the new man’s medieval upsets. The groans of the workforce only drowned out by the deafening silence observable at workplaces as the system wound to an imminent halt. Yet none, it seemed, could bell the cat before worse turned to worst.
Well, like stated as we started, what ought to have been out of place in the entire scenario – the entire nation being of the same mindset – now did not seem to matter again. In its stead, what compounded the populace most now is how on earth all three atavistic examples sampled managed to be coeval. And in the 21st of all centuries – when the rest of the world tired of mythology now talks science and technology; when with the moon overcome, probes are now being sent to Mars and Jupiter. Spellbound, to say the least, my pen and I can only observe and comment – perhaps to the moon above.