When new phenomena occurs we need to study them in order to come up with ‘empirical evidence’ concerning whether it is right or wrong.
As an award winning researcher I have spent the last one week researching into the immediate and remote reasons behind the current TREKKING craze that has taken over the country and turned our people into bonafide Wakafarians.
- From Orobo to Lepa: See me now. I have beaten the records set by RMD and Jesse Jagz, not so? I just said, let me trek from Ilupeju to Oshodi but immediately I got to Oshodi I was possessed by the spirit of Forrest Gump and just couldn’t stop and in 4 days see the amazing results. Kutuwenji, here I come.
- You will be in the news: Tell me, who doesn’t like 15 minutes of fame (forget that you only get 3 minutes on NTA) So, trekking for GEJ or GMB or 3MB sef, will guarantee instant stardom.
- Brand Ambassador: We hear that the Athletics Federation of Nigeria (AFN) is looking for Brand Ambassadors especially since that small ungrateful gal, Blessing Okagbare, started opening her mouth like basket mouth. One gold medal and she thinks she has arrived. Nigeria sha.
- You will meet the First Lady: See you, 43 years old you and you have never met a president or First Lady in your life. Shame. Oya, dust off your old running shoes and start trekking, biko and maybe by the time you finish your own trek, the current handshake would have passed the elbow from hug to kisses. On camera too.
- We will become Buhari’s look alike: Yes o, start trekking and you will lose weight and when you lose weight you will look like GMB or even Osinbade, sorry, Osinbanjo! The award for the ‘Most Lepacious African President’ is waiting for Buhari at the AU. The man has the lepa thing covered. Minister of Petroleum, he stayed thin. Military Head of state, he stayed thin. PTF Chairman, dude stayed thin. And you think anything will change? I pity the chefs at Aso Rock, I see a job hunt in their future.
- Prepare for the future: If you start trekking now, you will be ready when the trekking really starts because if Buhari removed the fuel subsidy, my brother, we go trek o. Yes. So, people have started practicing and getting in shape. When it happens, from Oworo to Ikoyi, will be child’s play.
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