August 21, 2017

6 reasons why Osinbajo is Buhari’s side-chick by Onyema Dike

6 reasons why Osinbajo is Buhari’s side-chick by Onyema Dike

Who is a side chick? A side chick is a spare tyre, the babe you never go out with to Ikoyi Club, the one you never take to family events, the one who is neither wife nor girlfriend but is there because, well, because she is good in bed but not good enough to marry.

In the 2 weeks since Buhari was sworn in as president, rumours have been flying about Vice President Osinbajo being locked out of sensitive meetings. The first time, it was denied and rightly so because Osinbajo was in Sudan but subsequently, news has filtered out that Professor Osinbajo is not being made privy to certain security briefings.

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Why? Well, it must be because Buhari sees Osinbajo as a side chick. You don’t believe us, oya see 6 reasons why you should.Osinbajo excluded

  1. You don’t take a side chick home. Mba nu! A side chick is only to be visited in her own house or taken on trips outside the state (Bobo flies Business Class, side chick flies Economy.). She cannot know what happens in Bobo’s house. So, by shutting Osinbajo out, Buhari is displaying true playalistic behaviour. Side Chick, know thy place!
  2. There was a photo that made the rounds early this week. It showed Buhari in discussion with Abdusallami Abubakar while Osinbajo sat there dazed like a deer surprised by bright lights. He looked like a side chick out with her bobo when Bobo’s sister suddenly walks in. Bobio go just ignore the shit out of side chick.
  3. A side chick is usually someone’s fault. You know, you go to a party as a married man but then your bad friend introduces you to his cousin then encourages you to drop her off and so begins the affair. Guess who that bad friend is? I did not say BAT o.
  4. A side chick is usually a stranger or on a lower social strata. Check it out. A man who has been to school and has an MBA will most likely marry a woman who is also educated. And in Nigeria where we are so tribalistic, a man would most probably marry from his own tribe. The side chick is almost always below bobo and usually from another part of the country. While Osinbajo might be a world renowned professor of jurisprudence, he doesn’t have the political weight Buhari has and well, like a side chick, he is from another part of the country.
  5. A side chick is a spare tyre. Bobo will only spend the night or nights with her if he smuggles her out of town or when madam and the kids have gone on summer vacay. A side chick is there for comfort when madam has sent bobo to the dog house and god forbid bobo dies, nna, side chick is always left high and dry like dandruff.
  6. Side chicks get no respect. How can? Is that not how they said Bukola Saraki called Professor Osinbajo a mere commissioner. My guy, that’s what happens to a side chick. They get no respect.
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