I was recently coaching a Side Hustler who refused to set her website live because it wasn’t “quite ready.” She chewed on it for weeks and weeks, tweaked it, changed it, added to it, refined her tagline (37 times) and edited it down—a million things aside from pressing publish.
Was I surprised? No way. This happens more often that not. This perfectionism of hers was simply fear dressed up as a high standard. It’s never new. It’s never different. It’s always the same.
Fear is actually pretty boring when you think about it. But it does manifest in some key ways that we can identify within ourselves. Here are the most frequent excuses that can clue you in what you’re secretly avoiding:
1. “I’m not ready.”
This is the most common excuse we provide to avoid attempting something new and/or progressive. We actively cling to the status quo, resisting change that drives us forward. Almost no one one feels ready for a next step in their life—starting a business, a family, a new job. They just decide that the desire for it is greater than the discomfort of the shift.
News flash: You don’t have to wait to feel desperate to be ready to take a leap. If you feel the inner stirrings, pay attention. The more they persist, the more ready you are.
2. “I’m not good enough.”
Most of us feel inadequate at times. That’s OK. But it doesn’t mean it’s true. Meditation expert Tara Brach says that our thoughts are “real but not true.” This means our thoughts can feel real to us, yes. But we don’t have to take our thoughts so seriously. This is why so many personal development books remind us of our personal power to intentionally select our thoughts.
My friend Tanya calls the negative voices in her head “the itty bitty sh*tty committee.” Don’t let the volume get too loud, OK? Read more