Abeg stop blaming witches, blame yourself biko – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

Abeg stop blaming witches, blame yourself biko – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

One morning, as I was leaving my house to work, something interesting happened. I drove into the ‘one way’ road from my house. There is a sharp bend just after my house, it is a blind bend. As I was approaching the bend, there was a ‘keke marwa’ right in front of me before the bend. In a split second a guy driving a bicycle full speed came flying against traffic. The keke marwa slammed into him; he went high up into the air and fell down in front of my car. Thankfully I had stepped on the brakes. In fact I was just inches away from him. Luckily, he seemed fine.

So my question is this, why would anyone in his right mind be going full speed through a blind bend and against traffic? I can just imagine him giving the testimony.

Him: Mama, I get accident today

Mama: Jesus! You enemies cannot succeed. Shebi I told you not to come home during Easter, our enemies are not happy you are in Lagos

Him: My God is bigger than them o! In fact Mama, see how people shout as I fall for ground.

Mama: (Bursts out in song) I have a God who never fails…….

He will not tell her he was riding AT FULL SPEED AGAINST TRAFFIC AT A BLIND BEND.

[Why woman dey follow man? Because of Prick! – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha]

His enemies that woke him up early and pushed his bicycle in the wrong direction I must say are very creative. They could have simply stabbed a voodoo doll of his likeness in their closet. They could have called his name three times with their eyes closed and he would have run mad… It is much easier to persuade him to ride his bicycle at a HIGH SPEED, AGAINST TRAFFIC AT A BLIND BLEND. Of course his enemies have not been able to sleep since he bought the bicycle.


Someone I know has an event center. He hired someone to manage it and made sure this guy was well paid. Business was good for a while till things slowed down. He dropped in unexpectedly to check on things and discovered an event was taking place. He looked at the register and this event was never booked. He checked the accounts, nothing had been paid. It became evident that this young man that was well paid (even bought an SUV), whom they had almost fully sponsored his wedding and trusted had been cleaning them out. Business had not slowed down, the manager had been operating the business using his personal account and not recording events. A booking could cost up to one million naira. Nobody could even estimate how much money this manager had made off them.

[Saint Baba and his list of Angels – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha]

So, young man is back in the job market (very lucky not to be jailed). To people he doesn’t know well, he laments about how bad PDP and GEJ had been to the economy, they are the reason he is unemployed. To his friends and family he tells them of how some jealous Uncle had seen him driving the SUV and immediately this Uncle touched the car, his life took a downward spiral. His rapt listeners would tut-tut and shake their heads at this wicked world while his wife would go on a fast for the vindication of her husband.

I have known this carpenter Akeem, for 4years. He comes to fix door locks and broken beds (it is not what you think o!) and the like. So one day, I decided to make a shoe rack and a kitchen cabinet. Akeem measures and bills me. We negotiate and I give him a deposit of N20,000, and he says he will deliver in 2weeks. This was 3 months ago. I have called him and threatened him several times. He was waiting for the rains to stop so that something will dry, his shop got flooded, he traveled and at one point was sick and so the excuses go on and on. That is how a 4 year relationship has gone done the drain with all the future possibilities because of N20,000. If Akeem does not prosper because he has a reputation, he will blame it on everybody from Oduduwa to Bill Gates…

[Thinking about Sanusi and his 18 year old wife – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha]

Sometimes, foolishness, greed and lack of discipline are good enough reasons, leave the village witches and wizards to concentrate on ISIS take over, climate change or Ebola or whatever big project they are working on…..


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  1. Nnamdi

    The witches should be left alone biko. Many people are the architect of their misfortune. Since April, I gave tailor clothes to make for me, even after paying him in full, this is October and he’s nowhere to be found. He was thrown out of his shop and other challenges he must have abrogated to “his village witches”.

  2. Victoria

    This absurd belief in the power of witches and wizards to harm one and thwart their destiny does not respect education or social status in Nigeria.

  3. shollzie

    that’s just the bitter truth, greed and all you mentioned are the causes for witch this and wizard that.. tanks for this piece. God bless yah

  4. Joseph

    Life ought to be balanced, a coin has two sides, true many people are the architects of their own troubles in life, however, that does not exclude witchcraft activities. Witchcraft is real, wickedness is real, bitterness is real, occultic practices are real, not to forget hypnotism. If we deny their existence, how do we explain the confessions offered by those who are into such practices? Witchcraft does not explain all misfortunes, neither does negative human behaviour. A balanced view of life is very important.


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