Election period is so exciting! Plenty of fodder for everyone to play with. The stories and counter stories, the allegations and the rebuffs… who has time for regular tv anymore?
I don’t know any of the politicians personally, so who knows what the truth is or what isnt. For example I only just found out that Ambode resigned at the age of 49 from civil service and was not fired by Fashola as some people have insinuated. Well, that’s highly unusual sha, if you ask me but then, you are not asking me. But trust me, I know civil servants, they either die or reluctantly retire.
I rely on only what I see (forget the jingles; they are equally ridiculous). The posters are my thing. I am sorry Oba and Jagaban and Fashola and everyone holding Ambode by the hand but it is Jimi for me. JK is OK ni o. Keep your facts and figures and political analyses, posters are all I need.
Ambode has more than a million posters in different outfits all over Lagos. I am sorry but really, I do not know a single adult with that kind of time to play dress up (well except for Uti Nwachukwu…).
So a photo shoot is scheduled. A stylist, makeup artist, director, lights man, cameraman and executive producer are all in place.
“Sir ejo, we will start with the pale blue suit, ehm… hold the jacket and look at me.”
“Sir, e patewo (clap you hands)
“Where is that Igbo attire? Ok sir, grin like the day Jagaban told you he had chosen you to be Cashier…I mean governor”
“OK, casuals now, tshirt and jeans, let us appeal to university boys”
“Fantastic, ehmm Usain Bolt signature victory posture.”
“Look at your wristwatch sir, touch it. Olo’un it will be fine.”
“Baba riga now, where is the broom? Ok sir, carry it up”
“People need to see the face of the wristwatch, ok let us pretend you are doing an advert for Rolex, Balogun edition.”
“His face is getting oily, please powder. Shirt and trouser… ok look up as though Jesus is descending from the clouds and you are basking in the light of his glory…”
“Where is the chalk and atilogu dance outfit? Not yet here? Ok rollout the wheelchair so we can appeal to the disabled voters… ah ah, not here too? kai I need to sack the prop manager. Ok the tracksuit for the sporty picture? Fantastic
At the end of a weeklong photo shoot, somebody remembers ‘Mama Deputy”
“Ehm we still have time for one more picture.”
In contrast, my man, Mr Ruggedly handsome… Jimi oh Jimi.
“Sir, this is the 3rd time the photographer is coming, we need to have the posters up before weekend.”
Ok, he wipes his face with a hanky, already looking fly in his suit and takes a shot; one take only.
His wife hurriedly finds him a native attire and he takes another. Looking straight into the camera…
Shikena, like the serious guy I imagine him to be
JK is soooooo ok!
The views expressed in the article are strictly those of the CRAZY author. Sabinews has not endorsed any candidate whether well dressed or not…
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