March 22, 2019

And what if she says ‘no!’ I no do – Peju Akande

And what if she says ‘no!’ I no do – Peju Akande

So there I was scrolling through my WhatsApp messages when I came across a video clip of a young man who was making a public show of proposing to his long-time girlfriend.

It’s the new normal; the show held in a shopping mall. By raising his voice a pitch above the general din in the mall, he got everyone’s attention. I’m also guessing there was a friend in the know because his camera angle happens to be the video I got.

Anyway, our groom-to-be to be thanked everyone for giving him their attention, saying he wanted them to bear witness as he was about to take a big step in his life. At this time, of course, a few people had also whipped out their phone cameras and were filming.

Don’t we just love drama?

The young man went on to eulogise his lady, who stood rooted at the centre with wide eyes. He went on one knee, with an open ring box…and popped the question-‘Will you marry me?’

Awww! That one question millions of girls are supposedly dying to hear their bobo ask right now.

I saw a few girls, hand on their chests, watery eyed already mouthing ‘yes’…as if they were the ones being asked.

The bride-to-be aka instantly promoted girlfriend, appeared visibly shocked as we suppose she should be, this being a surprise…just kept shaking her head.

The crowd cheered, mistaking her shock for joy.

‘No!’ She said it out loud.


Wait a minute…what was that? Quick rewind…she said, ‘no’

Not a ‘no’, ‘omigosh, is this kinda happening to me right now? (insert americobrictico fake accent)

It’s the No, ‘I don’t want to marry you, what gave you that stupid idea in the first place?’ kind of No!

Bobo didn’t believe his ears; even the camera angle shook a bit, everyone was rattled by that ‘No!’

She said it again, ‘No! No. I’m sorry, no!’

The crowd recovered faster than the groom to be; the cheer slowly morphed into vicious howls of jeering…well plus a few whimpers of pain…for the young man who invited them to witness his shame.

Aww for soot! I wish he hadn’t made a show of this proposal.

While I feel sorry for the young man, I think perhaps he’s just been saved a more tortured future.

Now, who really knows what a woman wants?

You’d think men should have it all figured out which is why some make the mistake of an elaborate plan, only for the woman to just waka comot, because she aint having none of that.

The generation of young women we have today have grown giant sized balls! And they don’t jump at every proposal, marriage or not so guys, don’t go thinking you’ve got her all figured out. Be sure she’s on the same wave length as you are and don’t take her silence for granted; if she stops complaining about certain things you do, maybe it’s time to check and be sure.

There never will be one reason or a set of reasons why a woman will not continue with you and you can fill in as many reasons as you wish.

However, while hitherto it was unthinkable; mine was the generation that swooned every time we heard one of us got hooked. Think about it, after the 40 tubers of yams, 5 kegs of 25 liter palm oil, a lorry full of bales of textiles, several containers of honey, a whole tree of bananas all brought as part of bride price, no bride will develop cold feet, the fear of being soundly whipped by her family and those of her intended will keep her feet rooted!

But one bride ran weeks back in Ondo state; now dabbed the ‘runaway bride’, Taiwo Orimoloye left her groom and family members scratching their heads when she failed to show up for her own wedding to Abiodun Isaac, a guy she was said to have dated for six years.

Don’t worry, she wasn’t kidnapped on her way to church. No, she suddenly found she couldn’t go through with it and simply took off and called her parents a few days later probably to allay their  fears and let them know she was fine.

I’m sure there have been several family gatherings after this fiasco, there must have been accusing fingers pointed both ways, he did this, she did that…

God only knows why this bride ran away; one thing is clear,  the young ladies of this generation aren’t afraid to opt out!

Many are also not paying attention to what people will say if they find themselves in relationships that are toxic and will head nowhere.  We’ve seen too many relationships crumble for mundane reasons; he snores, she doesn’t wear pants, he’s  rude, she doesn’t give me her salary…issues that normally shouldn’t break any relationship if both are willing to work at it.

Now bobo don’t panic o because whatever it is that makes a woman say no, there are a thousand others waiting to say ‘Yes, Yes, Yes, I do!’

photo credit


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