Falling in love with your abuser is painful and confusing.
Here is Why:
You may fear for your sanity, your sense of identity, and possibly even your life. On the other, you may cling to the times your partner is loving and thoughtful, and feel that you’re too in love to ever leave.
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You know he sometimes makes you miserable, but what about the times he makes you happy? Being in love with your abuser you are not unusual, and there are, in fact, logical explanations for your feelings.
Firstly, it’s important to realize that having feelings for your abuser is not shameful or wrong. It is, quite possibly, an indication of your capacity to love but that doesn’t make it healthy.
Secondly, you falling in love with your abuser did not happen by accident. There are well-documented cases of Stockholm syndrome that show how easily people form attachments to their captors, subconsciously trying to influence their fate.
When you also consider that most abusers are “nice guys” and seem charming and attentive at first, it’s easy to see how “love” often thrives in abusive situations.