Bros, an erect penis is not equal to menstrual cramps, biko – Jite Efemuaye

Bros, an erect penis is not equal to menstrual cramps, biko – Jite Efemuaye

I had planned to write a light and airy piece about being single at Valentine. But like clockwork February 14 is going to come around next year and there will still be single people.

Know what else comes around like clockwork? Periods. Every month women have their menstrual periods.

I saw a stupid meme that had these words “Women think that handling periods is a big thing. They should know that trying to hide an erect penis in public is the real struggle.” And the quote was attributed to Robert Mugabe. I doubt Mugabe really said that but if he did, well, there are many choice words running through my mind right now.


You say it’s just a joke? Really? How many women do you see laughing? Or maybe I need to find my sense of humour because I just don’t see it.

Now to the meme and the guys sharing and laughing over it. Does you back ache while you’re trying to hide your erect penis? Do you throw up? Do you have diarrhea? Do you feel pain that does not go away even after popping a double dose of pain relief tablets? Pain that has you doubled over and unable to do anything, physical or mental? Does your penis stay erect for five days at a stretch while all of the things mentioned above happen to you?

You see, a lot of guys throw around, ‘But my mother is a woman and she had periods you didn’t hear her complaining about it.’ Did your mother also tell you about how sex with your father was for her? Did she tell you how excruciatingly painful childbirth was? How she spent hours pushing your big head out of her vagina?

Menstruation is not just about blood and tissue from the womb coming out of a woman’s vagina so she has to use pads. Her biggest worry isn’t getting stained and being embarrassed (as you would be by an erect penis).

She has to deal with pain. No woman deliberately chose to go through this, nature decided for us. I am one of a few lucky ones. I deal with cramps and a little backache on the first day and that’s it. I have friends who cannot move for days. Medication only works so much.

So when women are talking about their periods, shut your mouth and learn because you’re going to be a husband and father someday. Times are changing; gone are the days of ‘if you tell someone who’s having menstrual pain sorry, you will have it too’. Or ‘are you the first woman to have period?’

No one ever told me periods were a taboo subject, so I talked about it. I remember a shocked male friend telling me once; ‘Are you sure you should be talking to me about this?’ And I said, ‘Why not? It’s a part of life and shouldn’t make you squeamish. You have to hear it, I live it every month.’

I’m not going to talk about whether women should get time off from work because of their periods – another topic. But this insensitivity has to stop. I don’t know what trying to manage an erect penis feels like, I don’t own one (maybe someone can explain in the comments?). You don’t have a womb, so you have no idea what menstrual pain feels like. So when a woman tells you it hurts like hell, if you have nothing helpful to say, don’t trivialize it.

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1 Comment

  1. Michael Israel

    As a man with ten sisters and fourteen brothers (dad was polygamous) I had enough experience observing the womenfolk. Funny thing is that I never new anything like women periods existed until I was an adult dating my first girlfriend. Meaning there’s an unwritten code for women that seems to say “cover up your pain, no one must know!” I’m simply saying the menfolk do not know the depth of the pains women go through simply because society insists that things about them be hidden. I can stroll around barechested, you can’t; I sit with my legs thrown everywhere but you can’t; etc. So don’t blame us. If I couldn’t observe all my life that the female clan in my house were painfully bleeding once a month, then don’t blame me if I think my early morning turgidity is a real big issue. Thank God I’m married now though. Problem solved. Speaking of which, I heard menstrual pains disappear after marriage? Yeah??


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