May 20, 2018



My Dear Bros,

I am tired of you whining about your girlfriend. What is it that you want? What are your expectations? She grew up in a city where “chop my money” by P-square is the soundtrack of our existence. She has Eldee singing, “ki lo fe, shey moto ni?” (what do you want, is it a car?); where Skuki is telling her to stop complaining that the sex is sore after obtaining a Prada purse; and Olamide is demanding that she “go down low” before she can get whatever expensive bric-a-brac she wants.Joy 7483

She is on the internet watching flamboyant proposals on YouTube- one guy pays for the whole seats in a movie theatre just so he can propose to his girlfriend over a Sex and the City footage. Another pays for advertisement space at a basketball game just so his popcorn-loving babe can see herself on big screen as he pops the question: “Will you marry me?”

She has friends in school who drive around in Kia Optima bought by boyfriends working in Abuja.

That is her reality. You met her that way- a broke student with expensive dreams, living with a retired father and five siblings waiting every month, with gluttony for a cape, ready to dive into the old man’s pocket to gobble their own share of his pension. Sometimes they wait for months, and months turn to years, while sons become petty thieves and daughters convert to part-time prostitutes.

You met her that way- with an expensive ipad and no job. You didn’t question the Louboutin she wore on your first date; you didn’t raise an eyebrow when you saw her rocking a N75,000 swatch; you admired her head full of weaves and nodded approvingly. That weave costs N230,000. Don’t you know? Have you been living under a rock?

So what are you complaining about?

After six months, the excitement of what she must have felt when her eyes settled on your good looks have worn off considerably; her true needy nature is in full bloom, and you start to rant, turn to a preacher yelling: “Money is not everything. Why are women so desperate and greedy? Money cannot buy happiness…”

Is love going to pay her fees and keep her greed for the good things of life at bay?

So dad’s pension has been delayed for the fifth month. The last time he almost died on the queue waiting for hours, now he has announced to all his children- all shacked up in one sorry Nigerian University or the other- to go fend for themselves. Their only source of support is as good as dead.

Your babe is in her second year studying business administration. She has bills to pay and no clue how to get it sorted. She has a mop on her head (been sitting there for over nine weeks) that she needs to get rid of (to affix another more glorified one); her knickknacks are running out…and there you stand, with your portmanteau and a badly beaten golf car, talking about love and beautifully written letters.

Why do we like to buy trouble in the open market like this?

How do you expect a struggling student of the Federal Republic of Nigeria with zero parent/government support, and siblings who are just as deprived, to worry about love and constant pings, or care about plastic red flowers you buy once a year on Valentine’s Day?


Leave the student to focus on her life and the ugly challenges threatening to consume her. Stay away, your love is the last thing she needs. Unless that love comes with pocket money and a Hyundai saloon car, just forget it. You are complicating her life even more with your N70,000 job.

Why don’t you find a woman…you know? A woman with a job, who would shriek with joy when you ping her? One you can spend hours with talking about love and sweet nothings and she wouldn’t ask for recharge cards.

Aren’t you tired of being an ATM? It’s not like you have anything really. Your salary can barely sustain you. You’ve neglected your mother just so you can take Miss Under-graduate to the cinema every weekend to make up for the Blackberry Q300 you couldn’t buy for her.


Wake up, man! If you were my brother I’ll slap you out of this thick delirium.

Be wise. Love with wisdom. With a N70,000 pay slip every month, the last thing you need is love.

Soon you’ll start planning a wedding and children in your state of lack- the two of you walking into the arms of penury; claiming to have been captured by love.

You see why you deserve a material lover? –Because your brain is on permanent retreat.

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  1. Sarkin Yaki

    I love Joy, but this one is a miss. We seem to be buying into myths that ‘no romance without major finance’, and encouraging an atmosphere of Aristo-ship. I guess this is satire too right? Wrong. There are persons who live on less than 70k per month and have love in thier lives. Tongue out like Jordan to this one……btw I earn nearly 20 times that amount, still looking for love.

    1. Chinazar

      Thank you for stating my sentiments exactly. I love Joy’s opinion usually, but this was truly off. It just wasn’t right. The satire was a real miss.
      By the way, get me a calculator let’s calculate that salary of yours 😉

    2. Revealed

      Yaki, I won’t date u ooo. Ur brain is on retreat for not understanding this article. All who agree with you suffer the same misfortune. Pele oo

  2. Pingback: BROS, YOU EARN 70K A MONTH AND YOU WANT LOVE, HIAN!!! | Okanlawon

  3. Clement

    @yaki she did not say you shouldn’t find love, she said find love without drama and unnecessary pressure. You act like you don’t know the demands of young deprived undergraduates out there. I think its just an advice. if you have to love, why not love someone who wouldn’t dry your pocket? I will take this advice anyday because I have been in this situation before, so maybe I understand better. you love a young girl who has one million needs, you cant meet them and then she begins to compare you with one thief who built a mansion in her neighbourhood.

  4. Michael

    well if this is how mothers want to raise their daughters filling their head will this type of mentality..then wahala dey. Money for ground back for bed!

  5. Theresa Doghor

    …she has a mop on her head (been sitting there for over nine weeks) that she needs to get rid of (to affix another more glorified one).

    You are funny but you too dey curse.
    Ease up.

    The state of the Nigerian person.

  6. Rita

    I totally agree with Joy, Men who aim 70k monthly should look 4 ladies who has a job too so dat the equation of love can be balance. 4 dose of u who said Money is not love, I disagree with you becos of d experience I had. It is a good tin 2 have money but not in a negative way. When there is money to solve issues, there is greater love than you can imagine.

  7. debisi

    while this write-up has a few good stuff scattered here and there in it,
    i’ve read again …and i think , well!…this is everything wrong with the world

  8. Winter

    This is too lame. It’s a shame that Joy is also helping to place the women on the same consumerist status we are fighting so hard to liberate them from. You have money you can eat whatever you wish including two women: mother and daughter. WTF Joy. Help our women Joy to be more secured and not just a mere commodity for… this is irresponsible! By the way your daughter is going to dig out this someday.

  9. james

    Winter, this your headache is a serious one. The article and this your comment have nothing in common. I agree with the piece. Students should be left alone to get a grip on what life is all about without men hovering around them. Simple.

  10. Bukola

    I think some people are blinded by emotions, sentiments or lopsided ideas about love and women to identify reality. Love will not override reality. And the reality as I have seen or experienced it in the low – middle class circle, money has a big share as well as love in relationships, no thanks to our high level of poverty.

  11. Victor

    Most of the readers here simply misunderstood Joy’s intent by this write up. She’s simply saying “cut your cloth according to your size”, (is that the correct usage?). Guys, make una shine una eyes wella before una go begin complain.

  12. Victoria

    I think what Joy is saying is, observe your love interest carefully and calibrate your expectations of them carefully. If she is already materialistic then why are you deluding yourself?

    1. Carina

      Exactly my dear. I am sitting here wondering what some of them are about, the article being a satirical miss. That’s BS pinging at 10! What? She nailed it! If the gal has, for instance, an ipad, louboutin shoes, expensive timepieve, like she pointed out, and u see her background, can you not ask urself how she got those without a job oh, and advice urself n ur 70k accordingly? Mr Salary of 70 x 7 or 10 or 20 above there, I wouldn’t date u for free cos if u didn’t understand this article ur brain is on retreat! Joy pls write about guys with 70×20 salary n no wit abeg!

      1. Sarkin Yaki

        My dear, if you really understand the satire behind her post, maybe you go understand my own post. Whats with everybody vexing over my salary? Una know wetin Sarkin Yaki mean? Ask any person wey dey speak Hausa.

  13. guy

    Lol. Trye talk. Joy is just stating the obvious. The current trend in stylish girls require a lot of money to keep up. And guys want those stylish women even though they cant afford the upkeep. The girl wnt want less. The guy wnt make more… keeps them in a vicious cycle. And ultimately the rat race mentality.

  14. Newton

    The intelligence of the writer is so obvious that it cuts away at reality like a deranged seamstress trying to meet up with a phantom deadline. 70k pay slip don’t date school girls. I wonder if an average working class Nigerian Lady would date you with the same take home pay too. Like my twitter friends would say. A broke man has no right to an erection. Gentlemen if you don’t earn 200 per month go and become a Catholic priest biko.

  15. Pingback: Re: BROS, YOU EARN 70K A MONTH AND YOU WANT I-GO-DIE-FOR-YOU LOVE, HIAN; A Rejoinder. | The Pull Out Blog

  16. jazzy

    With special arrangement, there is hope for the 70k guy.

    The one with the mansion can keep on providing the expensive things, while the 70k guy can concentrate on bedroom gymnastics.

    Its a perfect arrangement, everybody wins. As long as there is efficient time sharing and understanding.

  17. engr.sam nwokoye

    There is a lot of merit in the write up.The beauty of a woman can be destroyed by extreme lack of money.So, if you cant afford to take care of a beautiful woman,its advisable, wise to keep clear.However,life is not always that straight forward or simple to explain.How much,for example,was TU Face,or Flavours or Dangotes father worth when he married his wife to give birth to these stars with untold wealth today.Generally,a beautiful woman needs maintainance or the beauty is destroyed.Again,this attitude of looking for rich guys by beautiful women results in many women of this generation not getting married in life.No matter how beautiful a woman is it does not last more than the age of 35years in most cases.But many successful men,look cool even at 60years if not sick.So wo,en should think of tomorrow.

  18. Nriji C. Brodericks

    This is succinctly captured. It extends to even the married men yet,involved in extra-marital affairs. They hardly meet up with their family responsibilities (wife,children,parents,inlaw’s ,personal and et cetera). However,notice,no effort was made to discredit the lady with the retiree father and using a N230,000 hair attachments, ipad and other expensive personal effects. It appears as if credence is being ascribed to it without any form of critique. Nonetheless,it’s a 90% from me,well-done!


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