Buhari cries to Obama for help by Toni Kan’t

Buhari cries to Obama for help by Toni Kan’t

Sabinews has obtained an exclusive email President Buhari sent to President Obama lamenting the state of affairs in Nigeria.

In the email, which sabinews has yet to verify because we are not sure which of the presidential spokesmen; Femi Adesina or Garba Shehu , to speak with, Buhari made a lot of startling revelations.

Help-key

The email reads in part:

“My dear President Obama, thank you for sending John Kerry to my inauguration. I was happy to see America showing us high powered support but walahi, it would have been better if you had sent Joe Biden, your vice president after all it was inauguration for president not Secretary to the Federal Government.  But I am not angry since someone said Joe Biden’s son was sick.

My purpose of writing you this letter is because of something I have discovered; Nigeria is a troublesome country, a dan iska, walahi. Do you know what dan iska means? It means a crazy modafuka wind. I think in America they will call it twister.

When I left government in 1984, we had 19 states. Now, we have 36 which means the trouble has doubled ka wai. And on top of that there is no fuel, no light, no water, no roads, no security. Obama, you know I am old enough to be your father so I will not lie to you, this country is difficult to rule walahi talahi. Infact yesterday, I told Yemi Osinbade (joke!!!! the man should have had a simple Yoruba name like Adekunle) that maybe we should change the name of this country to the Federal Republic of No.

Why am I writing you this letter? Shhhh, don’t tell Jona but you know, during one of his interviews they asked him about the missing $20billion dollars and the first thing he said is “if the money is missing America will know.” I have been thinking since May 29 that maybe the almighty America will know how to fix this country because walahi talahi, I don’t know what to do.

Yours faithfully,

PMB

(If you believe this, you are on a looooooooooooooooong thing)

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