Following an unprecedented and magnanimous move, news coming into our news room from our roaming amebo correspondent in Abuja indicates that there may be a thaw in the frosty relationship between outgoing President Jonathan and incoming President-elect Buhari.
Our source says that after considering reports of Patience Jonathan’s difficulty in accepting that life inside Aso Rock is over, Buhari, in a move very unlike him, has offered GEJ and Dame Patience the Aso Rock boys quarter as official accommodation.
The said the offer was made in a letter written to Jonathan. Here are excerpts:
“My dear Jona, I know how hard life can be after one has tasted power. It is not a joke. Haba, why did you think I contested 4 times and even cried when I lost in 2011? Can you compare that very dusty Daura or the troublesome Kaduna with Aso Rock? Kai, anybody trying to compare them is a dan iska. How can you compare carrot with cabbage even if they are both used for salad?
So, to ensure that you do not suffer the kind of power withdrawal syndrome I suffered after IBB overthrew me and my good friend, Tunde Idiagbon, I hereby offer you accommodation in the Aso Rock BQ. Another reason is that I am not even sure what kind of place that your village Otuoke is. The way I see the pictures the place looks worse than Sambisa forest.
I know that when people hear BQ, they will say it is an insult but they don’t know that a BQ in Aso Rock is the equivalent of a mansion in Oniru or Lekki. Kai that IBB too like better thing, shege because this Aso Rock is fine…
Anyway I hope you can live here and enjoy your life in the relative comfort you have gotten used to these past 8 years.
Please note, however, that we shall be rationing light and water in the BQ until light improves across the country and we shall not be eating golden rice.
In fact my dear Jona, it shall not be business as usual.
Signed: GMB aka winner oh oh, winner.
(If you believe this, you are on a long thing.)
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