I want to start this piece by asking this question:
You know how people remember where they were and what they were doing when the news filtered in that Abacha had died?
Well I was in University and just lounging in the hostel when there was an uproar. We rushed out to see people in jubilant celebration.
My friends Tosin, Omomo, Bola and I went back to the hostel to dress in black. We then took a fake mourning picture that I have in my collection to this day.
Some things are imprinted in the fabric of history woven together with sprinklings of forgettable things and so the forgettable things are immortalized.
What was I saying?
Oh yes, my baby had a boil under his lip, so wasn’t eating and was running a temperature. I had been observing but decided he may need some antibiotics and I do not buy such over the counter. We went to the hospital. The hospital lobby has bad reception both for my mobile internet and the WiFi that I use. So I did not know something had happened. We went home and I set about the normal evening business of the family. After giving my son a bath, I reclined on my bed with my phone and the lights switched off and went through my twitter feed.
And there it was all over. Trending under different hashtags were stories of Buhari’s victory at the polls.
And no, I am not talking about 2015. I am talking about 2019,
Are you confused yet?
But the elections haven’t happened?
You are wondering.
I am here to inform you that the elections have been concluded, results contested right to the Supreme Court and won unequivocally by the incumbent, his Royal Highness the Tsar, King, Commander in Chief and President/General Muhammadu Buhari.
President you mean, Biodun?
He is a former General and now a President… a democratically elected President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Reformed Democrat, my gluteus maximus.
Ok Biodun, slow down and back up. We kind of get where you are coming from, not that we agree. Our Baba has been unconventional in his treatment of matters but this is the toughness that Nigeria needs…ok…what do you mean he has won an election that hasn’t been conducted?
Did you not see the breaking news all over the streets yesterday evening?
CJN suspended and a new one has been sworn in.
Yes, we saw it.
But Baba is fighting corruption and the man had millions in his account undeclared…it must be from bribes and the like. Besides that is what Buhari went there to do.
He is there to sanitize the whole country leaving no sacred cows…except of course his own cows…or their handlers…but you get what we mean.
How long did it take for Baba to fire Babachir Lawal?
The same Babachir that is at the forefront of his campaign.
Even the Code of Conduct Judge Danladi Umar that recommended this suspension has a pending case of receiving a bribe with the EFCC.
Why does he still have a job and why hasn’t Baba faced his corruption allegations?
In three weeks, Baba became Usain Bolt in his swiftness to make sure that nothing stops his re-election…I mean fight against corruption.
Some of you are shouting “The CJN should explain the source of the money.” Honestly I am not against that.
Contrary to what Buharists (a silly term coined from the ideology of brainlessness) think, not supporting Buhari is not automatically supporting corruption.
But I understand there is a process.
The process exists so that justice prevails.
You cannot suddenly circumvent process because you think you know the answers.
No one should have the power to determine who is guilty and who isn’t using their geriatric brain cells.
Why won’t Buhari allow this process follow the constitutionally stipulated path?
What is the supersonic rush?
In Nigeria today, he whom Buhari has declared corrupt is indeed corrupt and he whom Buhari deems guiltless is Ganduje…I mean, is guiltless indeed.
Dear Nigerians, are you not afraid of this?
Can’t we see the lopsided opportunistic fight for re-election masked as a fight against corruption?
Amina Zakari’s appointment was self-explanatory.
What Buhari is doing in this CJN situation is self-explanatory.
Disrespect for our institutions is disrespecting us all.
Selecting what court orders to obey show no respect for the Judiciary.
Of all this, do you know what I find chilling?
The audacity of it all.
Like this guy pulled down his draws and went shat on all of us collectively while campaigning for re-election.
Who risks upsetting the mass a few weeks to re-election?
His nerves are made of steel and they are clanging loudly everywhere.
So, a big Congratulations to General Buhari on the win. May the next four years be nothing like the first four.
(Dear readers, i know i am owing you the conclusion for Nanny 101…maybe next week…this your country is not allowing me focus)