March 20, 2019

Dear Nigerian men, what is your problem with single mothers? – Viola Okolie

Dear Nigerian men, what is your problem with single mothers? – Viola Okolie



Merry Christmas folks.



If your tailor didn’t ruin your Christmas cloth this season either because:


  1. You believe you are too big to sew Christmas cloth and have therefore decided to recycle your okrika wake up from last year;


  1. You be sharp guy and so therefore, took your cloth to the tailor sometime in June telling them it was for a wedding holding in the abroading two weeks from the date;


  1. The money sure pass to put for chicken instead of to give to tailor wey go disappoint last last;


Gather round and let us take a selfie…



…and then discuss a totally unrelated matter.



 ALSO READ: Look at me, I have no shame o! – Viola Okolie


Why do Nigerian (men) dislike the idea of a single mother so much – a large majority of Nigerian men that is.


The chances are high that any random old brother strolling past any random old discussion, is bound to keep strolling until he hears the word “single mother” only for his head to snap round like a chicken with Newcastle’s disease, and then he stops by to give his usually derogatory unsolicited opinion.

Ironically, most of the women in Nigeria, are single mothers. Even the ones that entertain and accommodate men who “paid their bride prices”; and by virtue of that auspicious fact, crawl into bed beside them every night – are single mothers.


We are all single mothers.


ALSO READ: In Abuja, a woman without a husband is a sinner – Viola Okolie


A lot of fathers who brag about fatherhood on social media and how they are “hands on”; cannot find a missing sock and are generally clueless what to do in the event that the child must wear THAT missing sock to school. They will yell for the mother to come and de-escalate the situation.


Some of you fathers can drive round town with your children, running errands from morning to night and not even think of “branching” to buy ice cream or meat pie to keep their little hands, mouths and brains busy.


And when you do?


You take a picture and splash it all over social media so that the whole world can see you DOING SOMETHING FOR YOUR OWN CHILD! Sorry that I had to scream that, but for me to leave Buhari alone and talk this matter? Ees a serious sontin.


A man bathes his child once… once… enabled by his grateful wife, they take a video and splash it all over social media, begging the whole world to come and thank the man for bathing his own child.

Question: the mama wey dey baff am everyday nko? She suppose go book space for ROK studios now so that every week, we watch her bathing and dressing her children.


Single mothers all over the place disguising as “double parents”, make their own for no loss.


Even the fathers that are the family ojuju – not to be approached by women and small children – will still drop by a thread where parenting is being discussed, and curse out any single mother that is doing her best to ensure her child does not live up to the false stereotypes of single parenting. Ojuju daddy that does not know his own children’s birthday, cannot tell you what their best food is, has no idea who they are friends with, does not know if they have an allergy, may not even know them all by name without some prompting from madam; will have an opinion on single mothers.


As if, if all these people faced their own lives and struggles; Jubril will suddenly disappear from the Nigerian political space and we can manage our own Buhari wey we know, at least until Election Day.


They will even help you distinguish between an original and a fake single mother. I for one, never even knew such a concept existed until I heard “the only single mother that I recognize are widows”.


You don’t mean it!


You that your wife is a single mother and is itching to queue up on any thread where they are doing giveaways to single mothers and widows? You are talking? You have an opinion?


You that your wife is willing to trade you in for Osinbajo’s TraderMoni if given the option? At least the 10k go reach her take feed the children wey you abandon for long and deposit something for school fees?


Why so unfortunate na?


See, some of these yayaya behaviors should not follow you people into 2019 o.


New year, new sense and all that jazz.


We already know that what is peppering you all when you hear “single mother” and see a woman struggling to stand up to responsibilities, irrespective of the situation and society; is that it is a sharp reminder of your deep rooted irresponsibility.

Only you go borrow money marry wife. Only you no fit feed the woman, yet you dey impregnate am year in year out. Only you, if she ask you for feeding money or school fees, you go bring out your red eye. If the children fall sick nko, only you go change color.


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You will now start referring her to other women, “can’t you see how mama Nkechi is taking care of her children without disturbing anybody?”.


When the “disturbance” too much for you, you go kukuma jaa-bo.


Or remain and be pursuing “contracts” and “projects” while your poor wife struggles to complete the projects you started with her. Like Buhari, you will wait for wedding day to come and commission and claim a project you had no hand in nurturing, a project that would have been completed anyway, with or without you.


“I commissioned airport, clap for me”.


Unaware people all over the place, but I digress.


Back to you: we know what your problem is. You see a woman take the bull by the horns and wrestle it to submission. The same bull you saw and ran away from, speaking uncooked foné, roaming hither and thither looking for more women to put inside “predicament”.


Yet a woman – weaker sex according to you – is taking on the task with unflinching equanimity.

So e come dey pepper you for body.




May you receive sense in 2019 and beyond.


May the unfortunate circumstances of your Jubrilish behavior not follow you into 2019.


And may your children greet you one day when you enter the house with “uncle daddy, weikom. What did you “brought” for us?”


So that that day, your mumu go finally do.


If this is your sub, come and take it.


Na yab I yab una, no be fight.


Merry Christmas.


If your rice don ready, abeg halla me make I come follow chop small.


Photo credit

Lilian Osigwe Editor

A Creative and Versatile Writer.  
Currently writes for SabiNews Media

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