March 25, 2019

Dear Wailers, you cannot be trusted – Viola Okolie

Dear Wailers, you cannot be trusted – Viola Okolie

My people, can I just confide in you. I am scared to death of all these emergency wailers?

You guys scare the shit out of me and I have gladly taken the backstage make I just dey observe all of una first.

See, the truth is simple for every one who vehemently campaigned for Buhari, defended him like no man’s business, refused to listen to the voice of reason, created enemity, carried propaganda, did all sorts of foolishness in the face of FACTUAL evidence that voting Buhari was an error.

If you did all the above, and have suddenly repented now, I just dey take corner eye look you because you are like a drug addict that has gone cold turkey. What we are witnessing now are the withdrawal symptoms. You will still relapse.

You are like the woman who was warned BEFORE contracting a marriage: don’t go. Don’t venture. This man is bad for you. He will take you back decades. He will destroy your future. He will destroy all you have ever lived and worked for. He will make life difficult for you. He will take away your rights and freedom.


Yet she ventured into the marriage, claiming she needed his high handedness and wicked behaviour to help her – an adult o – decipher left from right.

Now today, just one short year after marriage, she is all over the streets, screaming and wailing:

My husband is a tyrant – but we told you before na.

My husband is not democratic – but we warned you before na.

My husband does not have an iota of sympathy – but you said you wanted wickedness na.

My husband is starving me – but you said you were too fat before na.

My husband is making life difficult for me – but you said life was difficult before na.

See, I don’t trust all of you. Like the woman in the example above, you are plagued with a terrible sense of poor judgement. You will keep making horrible decisions only to start decrying them within a short space of time.

Marry today, divorce tomorrow. Marry again, divorce again – omo call yourself to a meeting o. You need to slow down and review your decision making processes o because as e be, nobody should trust your sense of judgement. Even if both men turned out to be serial philandererands  wife beaters – why e be say na only you dey attract the wrong people?

So in a nutshell, you see all you emergency wailers, we don’t trust you. At least I don’t.

Come 2018, you will start agitating for the wrongest of candidates for the wrongest of reasons.

We will fight and quarrel over opposing views.

You will block some of us and we will block some of you.

Even without evidence, you will declare some of us corrupt and singing for our supper.

You will allow yourself to be brainwashed.

And under that influence of hypnosis, you will begin to shout, “Sai Baba” or “Sai Mai Rusau” or “Kwankwassiya” or “Atikulated” or some other nonsense or the other….

In 2019, you will pack yourselves like a pride of lions led by sheep, and go to the polls and press your thumbs over whatever the sheep has instructed you to.


Then a few short months after the elections, sometime in early 2010, you will whip out your bible and move straight into the book of Lamentations.

You will not even bother to start from chapter one and build it up gradually to the last chapter and verse – mba nu.

You will just head straight for the “Book of Lamentations, Chapter One Hundred and Seventy Five and the Last verse”.

And you will proceed to wail louder than the authors of the book of lamentations. Your voice will be louder than Ezekiel, Elisha, Elijah and Moses’ combined. You will attempt to bring down the walls of Jericho for the second time with your wailings. You will scream for freedom from the same chains you carefully wound round your neck, all by yourself. You will write letters of apologies to those you insulted and vilified in order to vote in the one you now wish you had not voted in but had remained with the one you voted out whom you now wish you had voted in because in retrospect, he was actually doing better than the one you voted in whom you now wish you never voted in.

“Four more years,” no longer forces you into a fit of brainwashed laughter now does it?

“Is fuel still increasing? Is it true that electricity tariff will go up by a 100%? Is it true that salaries will not be increased? Can it be possible that the President is more concerned with Sudan than Nigeria? What happened to all the recovered loot? Can governors actually shut down schools until pupils apologise to them? Is a governor actually contemplating replacing striking staff with fresh graduates? How come all the critical appointments are going to one region? Even the non critical ones? Why is BBOG being rewarded with a “jweezy” appointment? Blablabla…”

You will wail and wail and wail ohhhhhhhhh, but don’t worry, you haven’t seen anything yet.

And while you wail, oh thou emergency wailer, your choice in the recently concluded 2019 elections will be behind you with his big prick, entering you from the wrong hole without lubricant.

Your wails over the consequences of your bad political judgement will mingle with your wails of pain from the rough riding you are receiving; but the rough rider is not bothered because he is happy and his constituency is happy. The rest of you can not NOT be happy, Femi Adesina says so.

And while all this is going on, the bonafide wailers will be watching you all, eyes wide open…

They would be wondering who has invaded your bodies and is blaspheming your messiah on your behalf. They would be wondering if you need to revisit the brainwashing clinic because quite frankly, you were more interesting in your semi-hypnotic state. They would be contemplating retiring from wailing since the ranks are now being infiltrated by all sorts of suspicious characters.

They will look at you wailing and pat your backs and offer you admittance into the wailing wailers enclave but they will actually be thinking: “espeakilekwe the sontin, no be you insist say you wan vote this man? Wee you just kip kwayet?”

Dear Emergency Wailers, we simply do not trust you.


Read more from Viola

PDP can lie o – Viola Okolie

Karma is not a bitch – Viola Okolie

#Boycott beef and say enough to Fulani herdsmen – Viola Okolie

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