September 24, 2018

Dis Tiwa Savage sef – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

Dis Tiwa Savage sef – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

I am afraid of writing this article. There is no way I can write this one without being labelled a hater. So why am I going ahead to write it?

I dunno

Maybe for the same reason people say:

‘With all due respect…’ and go ahead to disrespect, disrespect and disrespect.

Or when people say

‘l know that only God can judge but…’ they go ahead to judge, judge and judge.

So dear friends I am not a hater but….

What is going on with Tiwa Savage?

It is none of my business but… (Imagine my arms raised all the way up while I am standing on my toes on a diving board about to dive into the pool of someone’s life that I know nothing about).

I first saw Tiwa doing “Kele Kele” love on, was it Channel O? She was wearing this full lycra bodysuit and dancing stiffly. Beautiful voice. Beautiful woman. Nice song. That was just the beginning. By the time she started dropping those hits like you drop the first cut of steaming hot eba from your fingers, no one was left without a burn.

Tiwa easily became the queen in a palace with few women. I remember when she dropped her album ‘Once upon a time’. My driver bought it and played it every single day for months. So, of course I became Tiwa’s loyal subject. I love good music.

In my mind, I created an impression of who she was. I thought of her as a sweet girlish woman with a blessed climb to success. Her songs were wholesome with an acceptable dally on the edge of naughtiness. Even the album cover…not even the outline of boobs showed through the white ‘coat’ she wore. Nice weavon, side parting and bright red lipstick.

 

And then the beautiful, decent Ms Tiwa became a respectable married woman when she married the not-so-respectable Teebillz (as it turned out). She became a mother to the adorable JamJam.

Then issues.

I don’t need to recount all that happened and we now saw that there was no happily ever after and no one was perfect. At some point, they came back together before parting for good.

I still kinda thought it was a good girl in love with bad boy thing. Ashe this Tiwa I created was my imagination…

Tiwa has since removed that her 2013 white coat and we know the sexy musician she is. In fact, we have seen more of her that we ever thought we would see and I am talking the colour of her mid cheek…not her face o, her butt. Her songs are certainly without inhibitions and I have concluded that we are just getting to know the real Tiwa Savage now. She is an established singer and can afford to not be too concerned about how she is perceived. Besides, being a slay queen is the fast track to the heart of the millennials.

When she performed with wizkid at the O2 arena, I was taken aback by her distressed bum shorts. As if bum shorts are not distressing on their own. But this is me. Knocking on middle age and a conservative Christian sister. (In church, even knowing so much about the secular music industry makes me a radical).

I have soft pedalled on listening to her music because clubbing and shayo lyrics don’t fit into my life.

So, why am I writing about her with specks of hating doted all over?

It is this boy’s ezue (issue with a Yoruba accent). This rumour of her dating Starboy Wizkid.

When women begin to approach 40, there is this fear of losing sexiness and hence middle age crisis comes knocking for some. I am beginning to suspect that is what is happening with Tiwa.

If and I say a big IF Tiwa is dating Whizzy then what a wow! Infact, what a WaWu?

I am a bit liberal with some of my views. Like I have never seen anything wrong with women dating and marrying younger men. I have even advocated for it on this my column.

But babes babes babes…I don’t think it is ok to pull a kid from kindergarten and begin to breast feed him in a manner that is not motherly.

Yes it is none of my business. Before you begin to scold me are you not the people that made Linda Ikeji a billionaire by your addiction to reading things that are not your business? You are part of the millions of people that visit nairaland and instablog and all these blogs spending time on people’s business. Face it! We are all not minding our business so I can talk about Tiwa Savage’s personal life.

As an original Tiwa fan, I am gutted. What is she doing with that young man? Is she not too much for him? (My gossip is getting to PhD level at this point). It just looks so wrong. Like he should be prostrating to greet her and lower his gaze when she looks at him. Like he should be carrying her bags to the car. Yes, he is a superstar and very rich and even has 3 kids to show us that puberty was done and dusted but haba! It even looks wrong. Now she has to knee age and all its precursors and pin it to the ground and wrestle it for as long she can so that she can ‘keep fit for daddy’ (walahi I just puked in my mouth, ugh!!!).

 

On her costumes these days, people keep referring to Beyonce and Rihanna to justify her performing in anything racy. I am just looking at them with one eye. Is she them? Them she her? Separate cultures and separate expectations. Even at that tell me you did not raise an eye at that tiny triangle that disappeared into Beyonce’s butt cheeks in her recently released pro nude shots. People were mostly uncomfortable with that. Like you can sing. Really sing. Even without us seeing your genital imprints. Do you really need this?

Some of you will now point at the French president Macron and his wife Brigitte who is 25 years older than him. You do have a tiny point if not for one small tiny thing

MACRON IS NOT WIZKID

He is not tweeting about how he steals girls with sex and popping champagne bottles with Shatta Wale with people screaming “STARBOY!!!!” He is not opening tiny chest and dancing Shaku Shaku.

Kai but Tiwa sha. If that is what rocks her boat wetin be my own (you can now tell that I am winding down the gossip. It always ends with pretending not to care and letting people live their lives.)?

I remember feeling this way when Whitney Houston married Bobby Brown.

Anyway it is just a rumour.

Back to minding my true business…the amount of weight I gained after dropping my last baby is enough to create an adult. I am within Tiwa’s age bracket and all I wear is tights and big tops because of eating bread and checking gossip blogs all day long.

It is like I am a hater true true…just small…

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17 Comments

  1. ROS

    Lol! You be really busy boooody!
    Love your write up sha, I couldn’t close it until I read it to the end. Thats very much unlike me.
    You try sis

    Reply
  2. kasanang

    nicely said Abiodun! Tiwa leave startboy oh he’ll break ur remaining heart oh make .. while d sun sets….

    Reply
  3. Funmi

    Well said Madam. I don’t knw if i should say I’m afraid for her. Wearing trashy clothes and acting weird up and down. She needs our prayers.

    Reply
  4. ENNY

    Well said Madam. I don’t knw if i should say I’m afraid for her. Wearing trashy clothes and acting weird up and down. She needs our prayers.

    Reply
  5. Angry bird

    They look more like a boy and his Anty . It’s so odd.
    It like ant entered into Tiwa’s head and bite off her sense of reasoning.

    Reply
  6. Cyntexreal

    My sister! Am still in shock, the Tiwa I used to envy and the Tiwa am seeing now are not the same. Please Tiwa, if you can’t see things for yourself, we ur sincere and loyal fun are pleading for you to come back to the normal ‘Tiwa’ we use to know if not any other thing buh for the sake of your son.

    Reply
  7. Okey Louis Udeh

    …I don’t think it is ok to pull a kid from kindergarten and begin to breast feed him in a manner that is not motherly…..

    MEHNNNN U NAILED IT.!!!!

    Reply
  8. Seun david

    Just trying to get famous here lol I hope she won’t even talk about this to shot you shit up
    #TeamTiwa
    #AllwaysWining

    Reply
  9. Bizzy

    I am full of surprise. I don’t expect Tiwa to stood so low for her co-colleague. Tiwa has not opened her eyes. The starboy just want to use her and dump her. May God touch her innermost spirit.

    Reply
  10. Teakei

    Mind ya busineeeesssss, Olofofo!
    Well, you already abuse yasef. Hmmm, issue. Bad something. Very baht if true.
    Tiwa, oya coman defend yasef, abeg.

    Reply
  11. Lets Be Reasonable

    Very Very well Written…. I couldn’t stop reading until I read the last sentence… Lemme also go back to minding my business

    Reply
  12. Lydia

    Abeg leave the middle aged, age defying sister alone,is it not her breast?which one is your own? And all this people saying wizboy abi it is wizbaby will not marry her, how do you know? Have you tasted her breast? Then self Tiwa did you tell anybody you want to marry anybody? Please oh! Aproko people leave our Tiwa alone.

    Reply
  13. Ninirah

    I honestly don’t think they are dating sha. I am not completely averse to stirring up a little controversy just for laughs or publicity or whatever. But I might be wrong.
    Which is why I never discussed the issue because I truly do not know which is which.

    Reply

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