March 18, 2019

Do good girls really prefer bad boys? – Peju Akande

“I love all beauteous things/I seek and adore them…”-Robert Bridges

We all want to be beautiful; beautiful people attract the most attention and like normal beings, we want attention, small or big.

Our need for attention is why beauty items are selling hot everywhere; online, offline, we are daily being bombarded with items aimed at helping us achieve that look- natural wigs that will transform a woman in seconds, makeup that changes the ugliest duckling into a swan, belts that melt belly fat in hours, butt enhancing creams, hips enlarging balms, breasts inflaters, waist trainers, knuckle whiteners…we seek all things beauteous.   

Now, beautiful people, I mean, people who have either natural born good looks or those who have cultivated it through training their bodies, adjusting their bodies, artificially or otherwise, fall into this category, They always get our attention, we’re often quick to help them.

So for instance, a guy with six packs, with muscles everywhere would get the attention of the babes faster than a slim guy. Same with a babe (‘yellol in kolol’ accorsing to Falz the Bahd guy ), get the men’s attention faster than a dark skinned lady.

We are wired that way, mainly by society. Yeah, I know, some will say, not so for me, I don’t like six packs, but you’ll stare harder at six packs than slim packs, (I know I hold my breath every time I see Wolverine-(Hugh Jackman) walk on screen in singlet and those… ummhph, tight jeans…) what of the Rock? Who will take a second look at a Kevin Hart versus the Rock?

See whaddamin?

And guys, stoppit! You’ll stare longer at fair and fine than dark and lovely.

So, there I was in church on Sunday, at the Daystar Christian centre. The pastor left the pulpit for the Reflections, the Drama arm of the church, to enact a play and entertain as well as teach us sinners a few lessons about life.

The play, summarised in one sentence – is the story of a dancer who lost faith in God when her mother died but here’s my story. I won’t give too many details:

The main character, a dancer named Rachael, has this boyfriend, a dancer too, slim fine looking guy that the congregation was oohing and ahhing over how devoted and loving he is to Rachael.

Then comes another character, named Tony; he’s buff with muscles rippling, beneath the shirt, tall and handsome and before he even opened his mouth to talk, the ladies around me began to scream… (whispering: I’m guessing they forgot we were in church,;keep in mind, Daystar is a millennial church, about 70 per cent of its congregation belong to that generation).

Anyway, the ladies behind me quickly labelled him ‘Tony sixpacks’. Now Tony is a bad boy, and like bad boys, naturally…yes, naturally, the girls in the play began to throw themselves at him, hell, even the ladies behind me were catcalling. And of all people, the lead character, Rachael, fell for him, she pushed her slim-not-so-handsome-but-passable-boyfriend, away.

Yeah, she did that.

At this point, my gang of cheering females and the rest of humanity around me began to throw jibes at the slim boyfriend they had initially praised. They asked him to leave the stage that a ‘real man’ had come. They booed, they hooted they even applauded when Toni sixpacks beat slimboy up and told him to stay down.

Chai! Muscle is good o. (in Lasisi Elenu speak-Haaa, is dia hope for slimboyz? Is dia hope!)

The lesson here, would we have rooted for Toni sixpacks if he was a slim looking and ugly guy?

Hardly  because we would immediately see him for the devil he is; all the girls would, too and they would have none of him.

So, are many things in life: they come dressed in ‘sixpacks’ but lack depth and they disappoint too quickly.

Girls who fall for sixpackers often come back to call them lazy, but babes, to get sixpacks no bi moinmoin, when they will spend long hours at the gym, how do you expect they will still have time to hustle?

Everything is not what it seems. When the scales fell off, Rachael, was lucky to find her dependable slimboy still waiting for her andd like her we soon find that what we initially despised is the thing we most need.

Since we are in a church mood, let us pray.

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