Recording yourself having sex with your partner sounds kinky, especially for the modern couple looking to do more than the conservative. But while standing in front of the camera, possibly stricken with performance anxiety, do we consider the risks that come with filming our carnal acts?
Unless you live under a rock in Lagos, you probably must have heard about the sex tape dilemma between Apostle Chris Omatsola, the Presiding Pastor of Zionwealth of Life Assembly in the Lekki area of Lagos State, and his former lover, Tamaratokoni Okpe.
The duo are currently at war over a sex video that was leaked on social media. The pastor who originally apologized about leaking the tape and admitted it was a revenge porn situation, has rescinded his apology stating that he was not the culprit in the situation.
While the pastor has denied being the one who leaked the tape, it’s theoretically possible that he leaked it for publicity, which is rather shocking considering fornication and Christianity — it definitely tarnished the public image he’d carefully constructed for himself, in addition to being humiliating simply by virtue of it being a sex tape.
That being said, the lady made things even spicier (for us onlookers) by granting BBC Pidgin an interview, a very emotional one at that. During the interview, the lady broke down in tears and lamented how the leaked video would affect her and the plans she originally made for the year.
She added that she wasn’t a “runz girl’ but rather a woman who made a silly mistake for love and implored ladies not to share nude photos and videos with their boyfriends, while also ensuring that such implicating media are not retained on their partners’ devices.
Well, presumably the reason she is distraught over the leaked sex tape is that she assumes it will make people think worse of her. But I am totally non-judgmental about sex and don’t think worse of her at all for having made a sex tape.
Why do people make sex tapes? It’s simple, people want to know what they look like having sex. And it’s actually quite a good educational exercise – in one way it’s satisfying in terms of curiosity, but also in a sense of narcissism; but everybody knows there’s a huge risk to it. The lady should not have agreed to make a sex tape in the first place if she knew she would not be okay with the worst case scenario – it leaks and everyone sees it.
Sure…sex, for humans, is a private thing. It is something that happens when you are intricately connected with someone (unless you are desperate and paid for it) And when it is videotaped and leaked, it is an intrusion into your personality, let alone privacy.
Besides the fact that the lady in question blatantly trusted a man she shouldn’t have trusted and was not even conscious of how much of herself was revealed in the video, this lady disregarded the fact that the sex tape could fall into the wrong hands and get leaked. There are people who never hesitate to take it upon themselves to ‘invade someone’s privacy’ and upload and share someone’s confidential, intimate moments to the world.
Bottom line: the desire to film one’s self can simply remain a desire if you don’t force it. However, it’s best to talk about it extensively before doing it.
Both partners need to be in a comfort zone, so they can understand why they want to do it, the implications, and the consequences of what to do if it ends up disastrous.