It is easy to become a demon in Nigeria – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

It is easy to become a demon in Nigeria – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

It is easy to become a demon in Nigeria.

You may be one and you may not even know it.

I almost became a demon yesterday but the devil was off duty and so he couldn’t process the papers.

I ran into a woman who runs a shop that I frequent. She was with her husband and children. We talked a bit and as she was leaving, I reached out and tickled her first son on the head. He made a move to push my hand, I stupidly thought he was playing along. I do it again and he roughly tries to push my hand away and he muttered something about people not touching his head. He is about 7 years old. I realise he was serious. I stopped playing but I am not offended. I have a son around that age and kids are not shy about stating boundaries, I simply respected this boy’s boundary. His mother suddenly smacked him for being ‘rude’. I told her not to, he is just a child. He started crying loudly and angrily. They leave the shop. I paid for my stuff and as I was leaving I saw her talking to him, apparently trying to get him to apologise to me. He had hot and angry tears streaming down his face, he then told her

“But you told me not to allow people to touch my head, why did you beat me?”

I heard this and froze.


It was not about a little boy not wanting to play.

Her husband stammers an explanation.

“He used to come home and complain about headaches so we told him not to allow people to touch his head.”

No wonder the boy was angry. He was obeying an instruction and his parents knew this yet they let him be the scapegoat to save face by beating him.

At this point, I start feeling ‘one kind’. But I ask her

“Why are you beating him, he was simply obeying you?”
“But he knows you now. He should have known I did not mean you.”


Did you ask him to allow certain people?

No, he obeyed you and you beat him because you felt embarrassed.

“You are not being fair. He is a child, you can’t expect him to use his discretion. It is either he obeys you or he doesn’t. In which case, he did and so did not deserve to be beaten.”

She still made him apologise. It was the most unapologetic apology ever. The little boy was still angry and was crying.

But as I walked away I made a silent vow.

I will not play with anyone’s child ever again. Especially a Nigerian child.

I would have tickled this boy’s head, then if coincidentally he has a headache when they get home, I would have been the confirmed witch that caused this headache.

I remember the match Nigeria played against Italy in USA 94. My uncle and two women were watching it in our house. My Uncle was the type of man to fearfully shout “they will score… they will score o..” anytime anyone brought the ball close to the Nigerian goal post. When we lost the match, a fight broke out between my uncle and the two women.

“It is your mouth that made them score… you just used negative words to spoil the match.”

I kid you not, this was said seriously.

During this Sallah, a lot of people complained about not getting Sallah meat from Muslims. I read on Facebook (from Pamela Braide if I am not mistaken) that Muslims found out that people were accepting food and meat and throwing it out. I know this is true. My husband witnessed one. A lady was eating Sallah meat and her neighbour chastised her for eating ‘their’ meat. He said he refused to collect it. At least he did not waste it.

Who did this to us?

Who carried us and steeped us in a cauldron of fear?

The same person lifted us from this cauldron after we were thoroughly cooked and then sprinkled tonnes of paranoia on us.

When people like us sent people to the moon decades ago and are breaking technological boundaries, understanding the Earth more and more each day we are teaching our children how to guard against spirit headaches transferred from juju hands.

No wonder we are where we are.

Who did this to us?

I partly blame the dangerous mix of Nollywood, Pentecostal preachers and divining Imams.

I have sat through an incredible conversation wherein someone was affirming that such ‘witchery’ exists. The person proceeded to waste my life by recounting the movie he saw it happen in.

“People dey wicked and you don’t know who is who.”

So religion is also wasted on us?

Is the God we are so quick to profess in so negligent that we have to cloak ourselves in paranoia just to protect our lives?

What is the use of going to church or Mosque and still coming out to camp under the canopy of fear and faithlessness?

For the Christians that say “We are not unaware of the devices of the evil one.” I have a question to ask you. When the scripture told us to put on the armour of God where did it mention not allowing people to touch our heads?

  1. Belt of truth
  2. Breastplate of righteousness
  3. Feet fitted with the readiness to spread the gospel of peace
  4. Shield of faith
  5. Helmet of salvation
  6. Sword of the spirit which is the word of God.

Please paranoid fearful unbelieving believers, where does it say you can protect your child’s destiny or star by telling him not to allow people touch his head?

We have used “You don’t know who is who” to brand people as demons. Even our parents and children are not spared. When people abandon so called possessed kids and refuse to associate with family because the seers have told us they are the cause of our misfortunes.

Our villages are dark and empty. We hobble in the so called ‘light’ of the towns too fearful to go home. We cover ourselves in the blood of Jesus, pray die by fire prayers and yet we are afraid of people touching our children on their heads.

Anyway never again. I won’t even shake hands with people.

“Ah! From that day that she touched my hand, my life derailed. She got my promotion and even took her children abroad. Some people dey rub things for their body dey steal people’s destiny.”

But such people will not spare you when you keep to yourself.

“Her hand no dey clean. She no dey feel free with people. Person wey no fit play with children no be good person.”

Kai! Why did God make me a Nigerian?

Why are we like this?

So that is how I almost became a demon. That is if someone has not already interpreted my hug to be the cause of a miscarriage, in that case maybe I am already a demon to someone.

All those people, looking at my every move and interpreting nonsense from it, DIE BY FIRE@@@@!!!!$$%%

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