Emotional Masturbation is when the stories of marginalized people are heard, shared, consumed by someone with privilege who then proceeds to not change at all.
While men are likely to do this at the beginning of your romance, it’s more about having sex with you – as opposed to women, who it’s said will fantasise about everything from marriage to babies.
‘Emotional masturbation happens when people step back and take a look at their lives and can see that there is a piece missing from the puzzle,’.
Similar to emotional masturbation is pseudo-relationships, which can be described in two different ways. The first is when you’re dating someone who won’t commit to a relationship, yet all the while strings you along. But there’s also the online kind of pseudo-connection, where you keep talking to a person for weeks or even months via a dating app or website, but never actually meet up. And often you’re emotionally attached to him or her without knowing if there is a stimulus in real life.
‘Disappointments, however, frequently arise when the fantasist gets to meet the actual person – who ultimately may not have the right accent, height or resume to be cast for the part.’
Dating is hard work so we understand the appeal to hold on to the good ones. But if emotional masturbation resonates with you, it might be time to rethink your dating strategy. If nothing else, then for your own sanity.
Do you emotionally masturbate?