Who else is watching the Paralympics??? Raise your hand in the comments section let me know how many of you know what’s up! Pardon?
Those of you turning up your nose at them…just know you are missing the only chance every 4 years to see Nigerians win gold, and win it more than once, topping the African medals table. I am sorry for you.
Right now they have at least six golds, two silvers and one bronze medal.
Meanwhile the ones calling themselves full-bodied abi ability Olympic team could only bring home one bronze on top football in August. It took 11 people to carry wood abi bronze enter house, and this was after one rich man promised them money. Rubbish.
Check out Lucy Ejike who sat in her wheelchair like a boss lady and broke weightlifting world records anyhow like how Mrs Buhari bin break Dino leg for Twitter. Powerlifting nko? Paul Kehinde carried gold gidigba like how Omojuwa carry visa on top head. Or is it Lauritta Onye who threw a new shot put record of 8.40m when most of you could not even throw Sallah party with real ram inside?
Me I gbadun our Paralympians o! Well well. I just wish they lived in Germany. Ehn, yes. Germany.
What’s that? No o, not just so I can famz them, or that they will have the far-better training facilities and resources that they need to excel further…but because here in Germany they can get some of the real benefits they deserve. Like, uhm…FREE sex.
Subsidy for sex aka SEX-sidy
Yes, in Germany the government pays for sex for disabled people.
For real o. While Naija government cannot decide whether to continue fuel abi kerosene subsidy jeje or to kuku remove am, in Germany the way they subsidize tax is the same way they subsidize sex for disabled people. Because like gold medlas, kerewa is not for only those of you walking upandan calling yourself able fa. I bet most of these our Paralympians can also turn bed into field and perform better than all of una there. Yes oooo. Hmm! Imagine Paul Kehinde lifting his woman with one hand like whaaaat!! Kimon!!!
Okay. Back to earth.
In Germany, this is not looked at as prostitution – even if you call it prostitution na you sabi. Prostitution is kuku legal here. This kerewa for the disabled is rightfully seen as a social service, necessary for the well being of its citizens. So for instance, the Institute for Self-determination of Disabled People calls it a “surrogate partnership” or the sex-worker is called a “sex surrogate.”
The sexual act is not the main focus, but the aim is determining the client’s sexual preferences, then building their sexual confidence and thereby achieving greater social inclusion for them.
The sex workers are trained officially, on how to deal with their disabled clients, special modes of sexual arousal for those who have no sight, for instance. Some sex-workers, upon finishing their course even get a certificate in Sexual Accompaniment and Assistance. They will hang it on their wall and some of you will be sprinkling holy water, while the disabled get their stipend monthly, to enable them pay for sex if they are noted as willing to have a sex surrogate.
Subsidized kerewa is also happening in the Netherlands, and even parts of the UK so no be today biko.
So while y’all are greeting yourself “Eku subsidy” in Nigeria…we here will be saying Eku sex-sidy o!!!
After all, na who ability don epp?
Who? Tell me.
Be telling me o, while I find my crowbar.
See you next week.