March 23, 2019

Help! I am a hypocrite – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

Help! I am a hypocrite – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

I am a bit of a hypocrite.

I am ashamed to admit it. But let the truth be told. If you had asked me if I was one a few weeks ago, I would have said I wasn’t.

What happened?

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and guffawing at the various 15 second videos and something struck me. I have general unspoken rules. I don’t like or comment on videos or memes that have profanity because I am a born again Christian. I don’t repost them as well.

So where is the hypocrisy?

When you like or comment on a page, your followers can view your activity on the ‘gram. I don’t want to more or less ‘endorse’ profanity.

But it is bloody hypocritical (pardon my French).

I am comfortable viewing these videos and laughing my head off but I do not want anyone to know that I find them funny. That is hypocrisy.

If the real you is different from the one you present to the public, then you are a hypocrite.

Another thing is the matter of self-righteousness. Why do people restrict the word to church people?

“They think that they are better than everyone else…”

I quite agree that church folks sound as though they are not flawed in anyway. And that does them a disservice. They (we) are human and are made righteous not by our acts but by the redemptive work of Jesus Christ (Preach, Preacher). If only we talked more about our struggles and weaknesses so that we can relate with others and destroy unreal expectations.

But I am not focusing on church people with this matter of self-righteousness. I am thinking of folks that keep harping on about how great and ‘real’ they are. They are loud and proud and will not let us forget it. They come complete with well-rehearsed ‘me’ statements. It is easy to figure them out, they start their sentences with..

“I am the type of person that….”

“You know me, I don’t take nonsense…”

“They don’t know me….”

They are quick to descend in judgement of people and call out or insult weaker people. They are perfect in their imperfections.

They scorn people that do not have their “flaws”.

For example, they may have no reservations about sex outside marriage and if someone talks about being abstinent they quickly denigrate and berate them because:

“All these fake people that pretend dey no dey do are hypocrites. Everybody dey do… me I no dey hide my own. I no be pretender.”

That is a kind of reverse self-righteousness not based on perfection but on imperfection…

Believe me, it is just as annoying.

I would rather we all be slightly more tentative and open to admitting we do not have all the answers all the time. Our humanity is magnified in our weaknesses and mistakes. And while it doesn’t mean you have to introduce yourself with your weaknesses, speak with sensitivity ditching statements that are judgemental and are veiled hypocrisy.

And please, self-righteousness may get you an applause in certain quarters, whether you are a Pharisee or Lucifer’s PR person, it is sickening, discard it.

Nobody wants to be around people that are righteous in their own eyes. I remember I had a toaster a long time ago, he was one of those really neat dudes, loved to wear white kaftan and was clean from head to toe. I never saw him with the shadow of a beard or unkempt hair. I knew he really liked me but I could not date him. I was/am not meticulous especially about my appearance. I am the kind of girl that will suddenly realize she has ashy feet midway to her destination and will not have any hand cream in her bag. Makeup for me is optional and I can look at a top and decide, “Well everyone knows there hasn’t been light, I will wear it rumpled.” So it was difficult being around him, it made me feel aware of how imperfect I was and I felt downright frumpy. It is like that when you are around people that think they are the ‘shizzle’ (how juvenile can my language get?).

Now the dilemma of a writer is that you have a clear voice and most of the time you have cast-in-stone opinions. Because you are able to say them well, you start to believe that your every thought expressed in word is gold. Nope it is not, it is just your thinking as defined by your experiences, your influences and your core beliefs. In other words, stop patting yourself on the head; that is self-righteousness (actually this is a note to self).

I think both hypocrisy and self-righteousness have the same root; the need to impress or to be seen as valuable. We all need to be more accepting of each other; that limits pretence.

Where on earth is Obiageli Fire? This article doesn’t sound like me….too serious!)

I will be back like Arnold!

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