I loved Willie, I swear I didn’t plan to kill him

I loved Willie, I swear I didn’t plan to kill him

I swear to God who made me, I didn’t intend to kill my dear Willie. Why would I stab to death the man who promised to send me to school after my father died in 2013?

There are many questions running through my head; I’m almost running mad as each question pops up and the answers explode in a thousand fragments. The many regrets I have as I stare at the female Police woman collect yet another N5000 from my poor aunty. Now that my case has been transferred to the State Department of Criminal Investigations, I know all is lost!

sad girl

Where do I begin my story?

My name is Elsie Emuan, I’m 20years old and from Edo state. I met Willie one day in 2013 on my way to school.  I was in ss3 and already thinking about my NECO exams and what University I would love to go to.

“Go to University of Benin,” papa said, “you will stay with my sister and go to school from there.”

So it was settled. I wanted to study economics because I like the idea of buying and selling.

That fateful day, I was already running late and so I hopped on an okada to take me to school. When I got down, the rider said I shouldn’t bother to pay him, he said he had been watching me for days.

“Every time I see you, my heart will be sweet. I will like us to be friends, you hear.” He said then introduced himself as Willie.

okada

So every morning, Willie would take me to school and back again. We soon became lovers and I enjoyed riding with him on Sundays, when he didn’t have to work. He was 8 years older than me and therefore more matured than the silly boys in my class.

Tragedy stuck a few months into our relationship, Papa died after a brief illness. I was devastated. Papa had promised to pay my NECO and WAEC fees the following week but he began to cough suddenly in the night.

The cough kept us all awake, myself and three of my siblings who shared a dinghy room somewhere in Ajegunle, where we lived.

The man died before dawn. Just like that. I went crazy. We had neither a mother nor any relative around us in Lagos. How was I, a 17year old, going to cater for three younger siblings? Willie was there to help. He didn’t have much but he gave me nearly all he made, so I could at least provide food for my siblings.

But as the weeks went by, I had to beg my aunty in Benin to take my siblings as our landlord had kicked us out. He said papa was already owing an arrears of two years and he didn’t think I could ever pay him.

I moved in with Willie who promised to send me back to school, though at this time, my mates were already writing their final exams. Willie encouraged me to enrol as an apprentice hairdresser, until he made enough money for my education.

Things were looking good. We lived like a young couple. The sex was good, always urgent and very intense; it seemed we couldn’t get enough of each other.

Then I became pregnant. I was devastated. I cried for many days but Willie assured me he would take care of me and still send me to school.

The pregnancy was a difficult one, I vomited every day until the baby was born. It came out sickly. A little boy; I didn’t know how to care for it. He cried all day and when Willie came home at night, all I wanted to do was hand him the baby so I could get some sleep. We fought constantly, it seemed the baby had stolen our joy.

The baby died at 6months, in December of 2014.

Willie was devastated, I was relieved. I wanted us to have our lives back but Willie became cold and resentful. He stopped giving me money for food. I had to save tips I got from the saloon to eke out a living for both of us.

Willie also began to drink heavily and when he got drunk he would beat me when he came home. But the following morning, he would apologise and we would make up by having hot sex.

That fateful day, we went out together and both got drunk then on our way back, I accused Willie of neglecting me and not giving me money for food. He became violent and hit me a couple of times. I got very angry and demanded that he gave me the key to our one room apartment. He didn’t.  I walked home and broke down the door with a hammer.

By the time Willie got home, I was still in a raw mood and he was still as drunk as ever. He threatened to give me the beating of my life and I threatened to stab him. It was a threat, nothing more than angry words.

He hit me again and I went for the knife and stabbed him at the right side of his neck. Willie looked at me with pain and shock written all over his face. I’ve never seen so much blood in my life. Then he staggered and fell.

black woman with knife

I screamed for help. The neighbours came and helped me carry him out, I kept shouting ‘Willie, Willie, I’m sorry’.

But my man died.

And here I am in a cell while awaiting, “further investigations” by the police.

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