May 22, 2018

Lagos men, what did women do to you? – Lucia Edafioka

Lagos men, what did women do to you? – Lucia Edafioka

I am very happy for the dry week we just had, because I thought last week’s daily rain was going to wash us all the way to Cotonou.

The worst thing about the rain for me wasn’t even the flood, it was the insane traffic. I mean, I was in traffic for 5 hours on Saturday, people going to see Oba of Benin sef would have gotten  home before me but that’s not what I want to rant about today.

I just want to ask a question, Lagos men what did women do to you?

In one week, I saw so much BS women take, have to take from you people daily.

Because of the insane traffic, to get a bus has become really difficult. One evening, an empty bus stopped before the bus stop and those of us there rushed in, but there was one space left, when the bus driver got to the bus stop, two girls rushed in, thinking it had space for both of them but as they realised it was only one space, one offered to lap the other one but the driver said no. ‘Make una come out, women weight too much, una go spoil my tire.’ Even though the girls offered to pay for two seats he refused and when they got down, he added the usual, ashawo! The men sitting in front with him giggled.

A few feet away another group of people stood waiting for a bus and when he stopped two men entered, seeing the same predicament one offered to carry the other, I was expecting this nonsense driver to say something, brethren not a word. In his mathematics, the weight of two girls is more than the weight of two men.

Another day, it was this same bus drivers. This one drove in the wrong direction blocking the flow of traffic from the other side. The first in the other lane was a jeep with a woman driving it. She wound down her glass and said, ‘see how you are causing traffic here, you know the right thing to do but will not do it, is this good now?’

She did not raise her voice. She spoke  calmly but what did this man say?

‘Madam shut up, I no blame you, na man wey give you jeep I blame,’ immediately he said this, he looked at her fingers and lo and behold saw no wedding band. Aha.


So he added ‘she never even marry, who give you jeep, ashawo!’ I was so angry but before I could say anything the women in the bus attacked the man, and we were only 4 in a full bus, what did the men do? Nada. They kept quiet, the ones who talked supported the driver. Why will she talk to him like that? Is it because he is a bus driver? That’s why she’s not married, no get respect for man.

It is these same men who will come on social media and say not all men when women share the horrible experiences they have with men in Lagos.

Have you been to a Lagos market recently? Not just in Lagos But all over the country. It is almost impossible to go into a market to buy what you need and leave without a man jeering and speaking rude words or even touching your body and when you try to swat the stupid things away, there will be men and even women who will call you rude and disrespectful.

The least you #notallmen brigade can do is speak out when you see these things happen. They claim the men who talk to women like that are uneducated, but what are you doing to educate them? Laughing along? Keeping quiet? You can do better.

If your sons see you keep quiet about these things what are you teaching them? When you laugh them away what message are you passing across to the culprits? When you come to social media to say not all of us are that way, but fail to correct BS do you really know What you are doing???

Lagos men, you can do better.

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