If you have ever desired to have a good and stable relationship with your better half, then you should not look down at the place of sex as a good sex life goes a long way to ensure happiness in your union.
When a couple has a good relationship, they’re usually having a good sex life too and the connection between your well being and the bedroom cannot be overemphasized.
Sex experts have linked a happy relationship to a good sex life, noting that couples who have sex regularly tend to be happy in their union while those who neglect sex are often grouchy and unhappy.
So if your sex life is dull with no fun in it, you may well have to employ these 10 tips to revitalize it, starting from this weekend.
1. Learn new sex positions
This is the easiest step, but also one of the most effective ways of keeping things interesting. If your man is not keen to try out new sex positions, then you are going to need to be the one who takes action.
You can learn about positions that will out the best in you both and keep him sexually obsessed with you. If you’ve never taken the lead in bed before, you may feel a little nervous trying them out but if you can overcome the nervousness, your man will really enjoy it and your sex life will take a turn for the better.
2. Love your naked body
Women who have the best sex lives feel good about their bodies, sex experts say. Such women see themselves as strong and sexy. Try to avoid having a negative body image because when you look at yourself in that light, you are definitely sending the wrong signals.
The image you have of yourself is what you will take into the bedroom. To boost your body confidence, give yourself a reality check.
Practice a few body positive affirmations the next time you’re at the store or in the gym; take a look around you at all the attractive women who are a variety of shapes and sizes and remind yourself that you are attractive no matter how you look.
If you love your naked body, chances are that your man will love you the way you are.
3. Explore his fantasies… and yours too
Everyone, I repeat, everyone has sexual fantasies but the problem is that many people do think such fantasies are weird and out of this world. Most couples are shy to reveal their fantasies to their better halves due to fear or potential embarrassment or the thought they could be seen as being weird.
The fact is that your man has fantasies but has refused to open up to you. There might be certain fantasies or things to that turn him on but he will never tell you if you do not find them out and explore them.
So for a great sex spice this weekend, try and share your fantasies and act them out and you will be surprised how that will add the pep you both need.
Start with the safest fantasies, then build up to the wildest ones once you are both comfortable.
Be open and welcoming to his, even if you don’t want to try them out. In other words, do not be judgemental. Don’t force it. If he won’t open up, then trying to force him to will make him close up even further.
Use positive reinforcement. By rewarding your man for opening up, he is more likely to open up in the future. Rewarding him is simple. It can be as simple as saying ‘cool, I’m kinda interested in that too’. And please, keep this a secret between you and your man.
4. Become dominant in the bedroom
Most relationships have one partner that is slightly more dominant in bed while the other partner is slightly more submissive.
A partner, mostly the man, is often the dominant person but it is time you try and take control and be the one dictating the pace; at least once in a while. You have to take charge and be more eager to try out new things, change position or initiate sex this weekend.
A great way to spice things up is to change your role the next time you’re in bed with your man. So if he is usually the one who wants to change position, you should try to beat him to the punch and change positions instead.
Or maybe he usually initiates sex. Why not try being the aggressor this time? Or maybe you usually start foreplay. Try holding out until he does.
You might feel a bit uneasy about changing roles at first. But don’t worry, your man will be pleasantly surprised!
5. Build anticipation
One reason why sex can become dull and boring is that there is no build up, no anticipation, and no tension before you have sex with your man. For most couples, sex is just a routine chore they engage in, usually in the morning before going their hitting the road or at night before sleeping.
To break out of this monotony, try building anticipation to something he’s not expecting. If you have been apart for a while, text your man and let him know how much you are missing him; and how horny you are.
Even when you are at work, send him some raunchy text messages and let him know what to expect when you guys get together.
Let him know what you are planning to do with him when you return and do this in details. And when you do return, make sure you ‘teach him some lessons’ he will not forget in a hurry.
6. Tell your partner how to turn you on
Men want to be seen as the kings in the sack, your knight in shining armour and feel on top of the world when you tell him how to put you in the right mood. They are eager for you to tell them what feels good.
So to help him massage this ego, you have to help him, and ultimately, yourself by showing him what turns you on.
Put your hand on top of his and guide him in how you want to be touched. If you have a kink for oral sex, do not hesitate to tell him and encourage him to get down on you by taking the lead.
7. Watch porn together
Let it be known that a whopping 75% of men watch porn movies directly or indirectly but they will not be caught by their partners engaging in this.
Some women too are secret porn watchers. There is a stereotype that men love porn and women hate it. This is not quite true. The truth is that most women hate ‘conventional’ pornography.
So what’s conventional pornography? Pornography that’s degrading to women, where men treat the women like dirt and cum on their faces at the end.
However, if you search for it, you will find female-focused pornography that’s not like this at all. You can then watch this porn together and try out the better aspects that will add spice to your sex life.
8. Ask for directions
Asking for directions when you really want to sexually satisfy your man, whether you are giving him a blowjob or a handjob or having sex, is a really smart move if you want to improve fast.
But don’t ask him directly. Don’t say: ‘Is that ok? I’m not sure what I’m doing, but I hope you like it.’
A better way to ‘ask for directions’ is to give him a choice or to make a suggestive statement.
Some people find this to be really easy, while others find it a little trickier. But once you do ‘ask for directions’, you’ll quickly discover what your man enjoys the most. And he will be much more likely to return the favor!
9. Talk dirty
Talking dirty to your man can be really powerful. If he is not used to such talk, it may sound corny at first but when he gets used to it, it will be a great turn on.
For those who don’t know about the power of talking dirty, a lot of women use it to keep their men constantly turned on and thinking about you when you are not around.
10. Avoid routine and boredom
Nothing kills a relationship faster than sexual boredom. On the other hand, a sexual routine is another ultimate relationship killer. It won’t just kill your sex life, but it will also ruin your relationship.
Sexual boredom will mess up not only your sex life, but your relationship too. It’s one of the main reasons people slowly drift apart and cheat on each other.
So if you are serious about keeping both your sex life and your relationship fun, varied and satisfying, then you need to add some spice into it and avoid the boring and routine things you do.
It’s too easy to slip into a routine with your man. Just like with work, study, going to the gym or even eating, sex can become routine and boring. When that happens, you and your man will start looking elsewhere for your thrills. Don’t let this happen to your relationship!