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Na who FIN don epp? Plenty women, really – Peju Akande

Na who FIN don epp? Plenty women, really – Peju Akande

It always feels good to see the media help drive conversation in a good and logical manner that provides solutions. This is something we want to and like to do on sabinews.com especially in a country like Nigeria where people think the media is always on the take.

So, about 10 days ago, when sabinews columnist Viola Okolie sent in her piece on the missing FIN member Mrs Charity Aiyedogbon aka Deepdeal ChaCha DeHammer, we were very eager to publish and publicise it and it was read by thousands and received hundreds of comments (both negative and positive).

If you missed Viola’s piece on FIN and Chacha please read it here

Days later we were happy to see FIN take action with a message on facebook asking people to change our DP to a photo of the missing lady with the hashtag – #whathappenedtocharity thus breaking the silence that Viola spoke about.

Today, Viola will be on a radio programme to discuss the issue in greater detail and sabinews is proud of her and the piece she wrote which has now provided the groundswell of interest in finding the missing lady. We hope she gets found. Please tune in to the programme.

charity on happenings

I am a member of FIN and have no reason to regret being on the platform.

I see the group as a platform for women to exhale; women have many issues and sometimes it seems only our kind can relate to those issues. In my opinion, FIN is a platform to vent and rant and not be judged and not being judged isn’t a bad thing really, because after life has knocked you from all sides, self-righteous judgements can often do more damage than good.

And really, even though FIN rules say don’t judge, it doesn’t mean that many haven’t being judged in love. I have read comments to many FINsters who were corrected in love without the judgemental words that tear people down. My people say pele, meaning sorry, has a male and female version, the male version is harsh and the female version is soft. Many FINsters have been corrected, on occasion, with either of the two.

If a sister messes up, many times she already knows she has messed up, she doesn’t need me judging her by telling her she has, she needs me to hear her out and say to her, “next time, consider doing so and so and maybe you’ll have a different outcome.” If I can’t, I may tell her my own experience, so she learns to do things differently. That’s correcting the other person without a telling off.

Has FIN really been helpful? Personally, I haven’t got any material benefits but I’ve read stories of FINsters who got help from other sisters, and those who got help usually come to the platform to give their thanks. So surely, it’s a platform that reaches out to others in need. And many times, what is required is a pat on the back, a shoulder to lean on, a whisper of encouragement, an e-hug. These help to boost morale. So, in that sense, I too have benefited.

And one more thing, FIN is more than doggy-style and vilifying our menfolk; many brothers have been celebrated on that platform, many homes applauded because the men in our FINster’s lives stood up for them and of course, the villains among the men have been named and shamed. There’s a balance, otherwise a lot of women would have left the platform. I’m sure.

That being said, I read Viola’s piece and respect the views she expressed in “Dear FIN member, how safe are you on FIN?” She did have a point in requesting that FINsters talk about and champion the cause of finding a missing FINster, one of us who is now presumed either missing or dead. It is not such a bad request if we believe that FIN helps us be who we are and want to be by supporting and providing a safe platform for us.

chachanew

I’m not speaking for FIN, as I am not its spokesperson and I’m not speaking for Viola, she’s more than capable of speaking for herself and standing by her convictions, too.

But I am a FINster and a sabinewster as well and we at Sabinews welcome all shades of opinion; so if anyone has a view, kindly send us your version and we will publish it as well.

 

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