September 25, 2017

NAIJA ARTISTE; SACK YOUR DAMAGER, SORRY MANAGER by Toni Kan

NAIJA ARTISTE; SACK YOUR DAMAGER, SORRY MANAGER by Toni Kan

I have had an interesting two weeks carrying out a quick research; what role do artistes managers play and how do they help the careers of the artistes they manage?

Well, the result is in; except you are being managed by Bankuli, dude, you need to sack your manager. He is damaging your career.

BillionaireJackpot

Yes, you heard me right.

We got numbers of artiste managers from Ayeni  Adekunle publisher of Netng and then we called and sent texts to make a booking for December 19, 2014.

ayeni

We said our client is a company and it’s their Christmas party.

We got a wide range of responses from no response to the funny and downright ridiculous and you know me, I will name names.

First off, Wizkid doesn’t have a manager. Seun Johnson is just a lazy ass dude with a phone thinking he is Wizkid. Dude, you are a manager so manage the artiste who pays you. Work, be smart on the phone. Don’t talk to clients-to-be like you are doing them a favour. The guy calling could be the MD of some big corporate and you just lost Wizkid money by being so unprofessional.

Wizzy boy

When a call comes through, speak up, and act like you need the money because your artiste does and because you are getting free Hennessy doesn’t make you a star. Wizkid is and you are just the help.

Phyno. The boss shouldn’t be taking calls for you but it was his number we got. We sent a text. Ill Bliss didn’t respond. Money lost.

We sent a text to Olamide. No answer.

Now, we had Olamide play a humanitarian gig for us years back when he was still with ID Cabasa. Olamide was polite and calm and every time we asked a question, he’d say ‘ask my oga.’  ID Cabasa was the funny one and I knew the relationship with Olamide wasn’t going to last. He seemed desperate and grabbing.

olamide

Now, Olamide is a bonafide mogul but a word of advice; this shit doesn’t last forever, so whoever is carrying the phone that ends with …3495 needs to be fired. He just lost you money, bro.

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We tried to reach Tiwa Savage. We sent a text to this number 0803xxx1772. There was no answer. We know there have been issues with management but you need to sort this out, Miss Savage. When you provide a service, every call missed or not returned is money lost.

tiwaa

Whoever refused to reply our text needs to get kicked out of your team.

Ahh, it’s gets funnier. So, I sent an FB message to Christian Jatau of Choc City saying we want to book Ice Prince and what does he charge now. Christian who is always professional referred us to someone called Sam. I punched in the number into my phone and it recognized the number as Sam Brymo.

ice prince

We had booked Brymo about two years ago for a show at the stadium so I figured it must be the same dude still working for Choc City.

We had this ‘I can’t hear you/ okay I can now hear you’ for a minute then we spoke.

He said “I need to confirm if he is available on that date. Call me back in 30 minutes.”

Call me back!

That was a red flag. I am carrying a pot of gold and you can’t call me back? Well, he didn’t. I called him back about 3 hours later and he said Ice Prince was available.

Dude could have just sent a text. Or borrowed a phone and called. I am the customer and he should be chasing me.

Then we called Burna Boy’s manager, Bose Ogulu.

Burna-Boy

She was pleasant on the phone and confirmed the date was open but then she asked whether it was a concert or a corporate gig. I said Christmas party. She said what company?  I said I can’t tell. She said that’s a funny way of negotiating. How about if it’s someone we don’t want to play for. I said that’s how we operate and we will let you know once we agree terms. So, she dropped the bomb. It’s 4 million until you decide to negotiate.

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Now, check this’ on the day of the show, Burna Boy would be at home drinking Henny and chilling and losing out on some millions because his manager was not told who the client is.

That’s money for next year’s rent or summer holiday.

I don’t know why you need to know who a client is before you tell him what your artistes’ charges. The way it goes is this; have rates for NGOs, Students, Corporates, Concerts, multiple city tours. Fixed rates man so when a client calls you can reel them out.

And yes, have a policy for commissions. So, I asked Bankuli what’s my commission and he said then it goes up by 500k. Just like that.

And then finally, have a ready answer; you know my artistes is an XYZ ambassador so he can’t play for a competing brand.

You can’t charge a client based on whether he is repping a bank or an oil company. It’s tacky and unprofessional.

Anyway to get back to the matter,  I have been doing this; writing about musicians and actors and comedians and getting them shows for about 20 years now and the way things look, I will be doing this long after so many of them become politicians or whatever post-entertainment career beckons so listen when I say this; if you haven’t been to school, if you don’t have a degree or any skill to speak of, make sure you make as much paper as you can before the music stops.

Because believe me bro, it always does and we will be here to report it.

Merry xmas people and get rid of the DAMAGERS.

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10 Comments

  1. Abiola

    I totally agree with you. Managers give their artistes a very bad name. For some reason they think they are more important that the artiste. They simply come to the venue sit in the green room and drink Hennessy without the artiste.

    The problem is that both the artiste and the manager have no idea how to take care of the business end of their shit. Also, their cousin, brother, hommy or babe is their manager, so there is a big problem. Thats why I have deep respect for Tuface and his manager.

    A manager is an artiste’s ‘paid boss’. He should be able to tell the artiste “sit down” and his ass stays put.

    They all need education and PR Training.

    Reply
  2. funmi

    I love this piece, it is so true!
    I have spoken to a few artistes manager in Nigeria to invite them for TV shows and it is all the same, only when they are promoting a song or new video do they answer calls, and they still don’t behave properly when they arrive at the TV Station. The artiste managers think they are mini gods and artiste themselves, think they are gods. yeye

    Reply
  3. Viola

    I like Christian Jatau. I thought you would have thrown him under the bus so that I can ponmo you for the next few days (Moruvu, the butcher in my street does not have beef this week so we cannot beef anyone for now). That said, omo, check out calling out! Hahahahahaha… Fire your damagers and hire me, people! Don’t say you were not informed!

    Artiste Managers acting like their salaries are not paid from fees their employers make from appearing and performing at gigs? Mind boggling! Perhaps they are under the illusion that they have to act like Divas? Maybe if there were no options, yes!

    Reply
  4. trae_z

    Or could it be a case of managers being over whelmed by calls and sms from agents including pranksters and cheap asses and thus they want you to repeat request well enough before they give you attention. I know this is wrong but it’s the Nigerian behavior in many other fields.

    Reply
    1. Cherry

      Thank you. I know when idiots are calling and fishing and I never bite. You sound like an arrogant fool so I would smell you in a minute

      Reply
  5. jay dahomey

    Nice write up. Lol @burna, drinking while losing millions! However, and truth be told, for every million lost, few more are gained, don’t you think? They are hot in demand, now, like early morning rice and dodo at Mama Basira. You might have to expect a few huffs and puffs of ego here and there. Plus, we are not even sure how the sneaky detective sounded; research, (like yours) proves you can make or break a deal, just by the personality conveyed through the phone, on EITHER side yo! If I sounded really important, like a naija politician, on a second stolen billion, why! The ass on Seun Johnson would be anything but lazy. (i don’t quite like the sound of that too, so #nohomo, lol). But no, Detective here must have sounded really mousey, snivelling like an infatuated younger me in primary five music class, working my nerves to fit staring at Aunty Lola, my enamoured brain producing tweets instead of sentences, OF COURSE they would act all stuffy puffy! All artistes, regardless, need managers. Good, bad and the ugly. This is Life, relax, live and let be, take what’s left in my chill pill box, lol. Nice write up again, skewed, but nice.

    Reply

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