Everybody loves a victim.
A good victim that is. One who can yell and roll around on the floor. Maybe take off their headtie and fling it far away from them, throw themselves after it with hands and feet flailing and kicking, grasp their breasts and yell, “yaaaaay. See me o, I am a victim. I have been abused by so so and so. Pity me o.”
It is easier to attract pity as a victim than it is as someone who fights back but of course, that all depends on what you want.
Because you see, even bullies love victims. The law of natural selection favours those who fight for life. Misfortune seeks out victims and misery is its own company.
I went into the boardig house when I was 8 years old. One of the reasons why I am comfortable with allowing my daughter progress at her own pace and age band and I’m not one of those parents in a hurry to showcase a “super super whiz kid competing with others way older than her and trumping them at it”.
Not for us biko.
E didn’t worth it!
At 8, I was the smallest in the school I attended – Federal Government Girls College Bakori. And then to make it worse, after suffering all the bullying and hazing and waiting expectantly to move into JSS2 and have a school daughter and juniors to bully around, the new set of JSS1 came in and the youngest of them was at least 2 months older than I was.
Oh and my “school sister” was at least 2 years older than I was.
Absolutely no joy for the bully-in-the-making I was planning to be, I couldn’t even get anybody to take me serious, little rat that I was. I was horrible.
I got bullied some, and because all the bullying switched me into a semi permanent victim position, I proceeded to attract all sort of misery. From being the one who would inevitably be locked into the dorm during prep and in attempting to wiggle out and avoid trouble, end up hanging from the top of the iron fence. A place I would remain in until the seniors returned, gingerly extracted me from the top of the fence and proceeded to administer said punishment I was seeking to avoid.
I would also be the only one who would break a senior’s bucket when I was sent to fetch water from the reservoir. Thinking that kukuma “getting lost” was a far better option than returning to get punished, I would just quietly remain in the school farm until an irritated search party fished me out and sent me off to receive said feared punishment.
I was in sooooo much trouble all the time that the seniors (and sometimes the juniors most of whom were older than I was), would resort to toying with me at their leisure, or constantly send me off to serve one punishment or the other.
One of the nicknames I earned , was “detention mama”. It was not one week one trouble with me.
Oh wait, were you expecting a dramatic story of how I suddenly fought back and was able to extricate myself from the clutches of victim mentality and fight back bullies?
Nothing like that happened.
I continued attracting misery where ever I went, I was a victim, I wanted to be pitied. Thing is, people can only pity you for so long before they run off and look for someone who was not likely to drag them screaming and scratching, into an undeserved detention simply for being in each other’s company.
Nobody likes a victim…
Unfortunately, my “saving grace” was a family tragedy. My father died and the logistics of travelling from Kaduna to Bakori became too much for my mum and we transferred to the nearer FGCK where as a day student, I flourished and made better friends.
Who knows if my father had lived till I finished school, I would have been an SS3 student who will fly under my bed if I heard a JSS3 student yell “any jew”?
I was that conditioned to being a victim that I doubt whether seniority would have saved me.
And that is a bit like how I see today’s Nigerian Christians.
We have been so conditioned to be victims that we think it is our right to die in defence of our faith in order to present as martyrs.
We will not fight back!
We will resist every attempt by others to be our spiritual leaders, those fat cats with an eye on the tithe trays and offering baskets, to speak out against the murder and harrasment of their flock by raving lunatics. We do not want them to leave the comfort of their private jets and bodyguards and come and experience a little bit of the stress involved in getting more donors to their vacation slush funds.
- “Heeeeey, why are you “attacking” us and asking us to fight back? Can’t you see we are victims?”
- “Leave our GOs alone, can’t you see they are victims too? Yes they live in obscene luxury and are obviously not interested in storing up their treasures in heaven but biko, pity them.”
- “Don’t you know the anointing on them is too much? They are so enveloped in “grace” that they cannot even give a robust response to anything – even after three years.”
- “Don’t you know we are supposed to be martyrs? We are all supposed to be killed off by raving lunatics in order to fulfil some obscure scripture or the other?”
Everybody loves a victim, especially the bully. You do know that the bully is actually just a big sissie don’t you? And that when you fight back, they leave you the heck alone and run away tails tucked between their legs?
Not the Nigerian wannabe martyrs though. They want to go to heaven but they don’t want to die first.
That’ll be one teleportation for me please, thank you.
- So they behead one of them in Kano for asking that the front of her premises not be used for ablution – Leave am for God.
- They hack down a pastor in Nassarawa for being a pastor – Leave am for God.
- A young mother of seven is cut down while going on “morning cry”, leaving her traumatised 7 year old wondering aloud, “why didn’t this Jesus my mother went to obey save my mum?” – Leave am for God.
No, you don’t want your pastors to speak up for you, neither do you want to fight back because somewhere in some twisted part of your mind, you think you are destined to die at the hands of a madman.
See, the kings, priests, prophets and disciples of bible times were not wimps. A million and one of them fought back and in one instance, called down a bear to tear into pieces, a group of children who were taunting him.
Just taunting o… calling him “gorimapa”.
And that was it.
Except Naija Christians have all suddenly turned into cows overnight and are expecting a presidential SWAT team or task force to rescue them from the hands of rabid jihadists, the earlier they make up their minds to defend themselves from unwarranted attacks, the sooner their bullies would stop seeing them as soft targets to be picked on at will.
A word they say…
PS: A similar post I did asking that Christians begin to defend themselves was reported to Facebook and I was given a 7 day ban.
Ask yourselves: Who would be afraid of a victim suddenly developing fangs? Who would benefit the most from a scared Christian community locked up in victim mentality and refusing to defend themselves from all sorts of attacks for declaring their faiths.
If you find an answer to that and many more, please let me know. I need to bloody the nose of whomever was behind my being locked out of my social media account.
But you see, every bully loves a good victim. Especially one with such deepseated victim mentality like the Naija christians do…