May 20, 2018

Naija people, please stop playing doctor – Emeka Nwolisa

Naija people, please stop playing doctor – Emeka Nwolisa

Today, I would be holding a medical court session. It’s a hybrid court of some sorts and in the mode of the famous American Judge Judy’s court.  I would adopt her no-nonsense approach. I am the Judge, prosecutor and also the expert witness.     You are expected to defend your actions yourself, no lawyers allowed. Do you have a problem with that? Having dispensed with the issue of legality, jurisdiction, and competence, let’s now proceed. Laugh if you want to. All I know is that court na court. Period, time no dey.

The following are questions for which you must provide a response. This is not High chief Trump’s America so you cannot plead the 5th Amendment.

Have you ever put kerosene into the ears of your child who complained of an earache or had an ear discharge?

Have you ever dipped  the bleeding finger(s) of your child following an injury into hydraulic fluid, transmission oil or kerosene?

Have you ever put salt into sprite and caused a child having diarrhea to drink it as oral rehydration solution(ORS)?

Have you at any time bath or encouraged bathing a child having a fever with sand to enable you to make or confirm your diagnosis of measles?

Have you at any time caused or encouraged a newly delivered mother to express and discard the initial flow of breast milk called colostrum because you believed it was dirty and could harm the baby?

Have you at any time participated in making or encouraged cuts to be made with razor blade on the face of a child having convulsion?

Have you at any time encouraged the mother of a convulsing child to pass urine into a cup and give the child to drink?

Have you at any time applied either crude oil or palm kernel oil or a mixture of onions and scent leaves on a convulsing child as treatment?

Have you ever held the feet of a convulsing child over a fire to banish the demon(s) supposedly causing the illness?

Have you at any time participated in forcing a spoon or a metallic object into the mouth of a convulsing child to prevent the teeth from clenching because you believed the child would die if that happens?

Do you store kerosene in a container similar to that in which you store water for drinking?

As doctor mummy  or doctor daddy

Do you give your child raw pap to treat diarrhea disease?

Do you give your child the recommended ACTs for treatment of malaria concurrently with either Vitamin C or juices and fruit drinks containing   high levels of ascorbic acid?

Do you allow your child eat fruits without washing because you believe like is commonly said that germ no dey kill African man?

Do you give teething powder or teething mixtures routinely to the child you suspect is teething?

If the answer to any of the questions above is Yes then you are guilty as charged. You obvious meant well but your action(s) potentially could put the child at risk for complications.  Accepted, ignorance is not an excuse under the law but this court  believes in the mantra that to err is human and to forgive divine. You are  discharged and acquitted but on one condition……. look for the nearest priest or pastor or alfa and let hands be laid on your head to receive common sense.  Common sense, after all, is not common.


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