A friend of mine had this on her Facebook wall: “if you want your marriage to last longer, get separate bathroom sinks and duvets.#Fact.”
I laughed so hard when I read it but I must say she is 100% right. I take it a step further to say that there are rules that one should stick to, in order to have a long lasting marriage; let’s leave all the ‘a woman must submit to her husband so they will enjoy their marriage or that the man is the head of the home blah blah blah;’ the main rules for having a successful marriage are as follows if you ask me;
- Have separate toilets: my God, this is a must have for couples. There should be daddy’s toilet equipped with his own toilet sink, bathtub/shower however he pleases and a charging spot for him to charge his phone. With the increase of smart phones more and more people, women included, now stay longer in the toilet with their phones. There should also be a mummy’s toilet equipped with her own toilet, bathtub/Jacuzzi (a must have for just chilling inside the tub after a long days work), some cabinets for safe guarding the cosmetics and sometimes jewelry. If this isn’t achievable (for me I do not have this luxury as I have to share the bathroom with my spouse), then the TOILET RULE plans should be activated. This should be written in simple English, and placed in clear view for everybody to see.
Example of toilet rules
*After using the toilet, flush. Make sure your business has been sorted our properly before leaving the toilet .
* Wash your hands after using the toilet then wipe with towel/napkins and not on your shorts/dresses.
*Do not go in with your phone if you don’t have sufficient toilets to accommodate every one
Note: The toilet should have separate amenities as well like individual towels, toothbrush and even toothpaste, because we all know that this toothpaste sharing has sent so many to early graves.
2. Have separate wardrobes. If this isn’t possible then have a partition in the wardrobe, one side for the male and the other side for the female, clearly stated. Also make sure that the female section is larger than the male section. Strict rules: stick to yours and only yours, no interference.
3. Dirty underwear i.e pants, panties, boxers, singlets, under skirt or whatever you like to call it should be kept properly not on the floor, not by the side of the bed, not on the bed, but properly, away from private eyes like your curious children lurking around the house always wondering what mummy and daddy do in the room.
4. Share the meat equally: this one has to be standard. In our days the father was apportioned the bigger share of the meat at all times and the mother was left with the smaller share. For this one I am all for equal rights oh, so everybody take the same size of meat when eating, simple.
I will end here. I hope I have given you some of the ground rules about marriage. This works believe me. Abeg if you have more feel free to add.
Take care: ramblings of a bored expat wife.