July 17, 2018

Saint Baba and his list of Angels – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

Saint Baba and his list of Angels – Abiodun Kuforiji Nkwocha

Baba has been searching for an A-Team of Angels but I can tell you for free,  he won’t find any from the ranks of those that have been in government in Nigeria.

So all those people angling for appointments by claiming he walks on water and shits gold can take a rest.

I am just saying that in the murky waters of Nigerian politics or as Fashola succinctly implied, in the pigsty of politics, it is impossible to wallow in it and not get dirty. Of course there is only one with whom such a feat is possible. Saint Baba. He that swims and never gets wet. He that walks in a gutter filled with the debris of the filth of the Nigerian elite and comes out with sparkling white clothes and well pedicured feet.

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So what will Baba do? Apart from him, who else is righteous and true and befitting of the dignity to walk with a deity?

People suggested Fashola. Look what he did with Oshodi in Lagos. See how he handled Ebola. APC carried Fashola’s report card round Nigeria showing that an APC blueprint is a winning blueprint. People even said they wished Fashola was the one campaigning. Turns out he is a dirty pig wrestler. Would it be right for his name to be on #TheList?

Amaechi cannot even hide that he wants to be part of the A-TEAM (Angelic Team). He is so desperate that he had has publicly renounced the love of money (forget what you saw in his jacket pocket in that interview, having money and loving money are two different things). Including him in #TheList is one kind. . .

People have been attributing Oshiomole’s recent verbal diarrhea (you know like when you are having the runs) to the very beautiful recently deflowered Mrs Lara. Not at all, the man has very little time left to exit the Edo state house so he wants another platform. What better way to get Saint Baba’s attention than being very publicly disgusted by the gazillions stolen by Ngo and her friends. Minister of Kudi will not be a bad thing…

I am starting to think that there is no one truly worthy of the A-TEAM. But Saint Baba has found them. After all, what can’t he do?

He said let there be 5,000 megawatts and there was…

He said let the stolen loot come back and it came flying out the pockets of GEJ’s Aides….

He said let the refineries begin to work and they did….

He commanded the queues in filling stations to disappear and they did….

He told Boko Haram to cease fighting and they …. Oh, they haven’t yet? Well just remember, when you are immortal and infallible, a day is like a thousand and a thousand days is just like a day. Just be rest assured that because Saint Baba said it, it is done. It may take a while to manifest but it shall surely come….

He said a word and he brought to life a country long dead, and gave them a new president (that one can never get old).

Saint Baba, the wine that can only get sweeter with age.

Baba has believers and nothing he can do is wrong.

Nepotism, favouritism, marginalization done by GEJ “very very bad”.

Baba does it, “uhmmm Baba has a plan, be patient!”

If Baba woke up one day and decided to execute everyone over 30 years old (good thing I am only 21), his reason being that they are all kwarrapt, people will defend him:

“Baba is all wise and all knowing.”

“GEJ did it too.”

“He has a reason that mere mortals cannot understand.”

“He is just 900 days in office, wait and see, it is best for Nigeria,”

“Christopher Columbus did it too” (American examples work really well).

“God killed all the first born in Egypt before the emancipation of the Israelites.”

“Keep calm and Say Baba.”

So the famous list has been handed over. Who are the saints that made it? Rumour has it that it is incomplete. I am not too surprised, in a country like ours, it is kind of difficult to reach adulthood in Nigeria without at least parting with a N20 bribe (corruption as well).

It is interesting to note that there are some jobs that no one is holy enough to take on e.g Minister of Oyel. But not to worry folks, he can handle running every aspect in Nigeria with one hand tied behind his back, after all, please sing with me…

Somebody say Baba (echo Baba)

There is nothing Baba cannot do

There is nothing Baba cannot do

There is nothing he cannot do

There is nothing Baba cannot do….

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  1. vee

    Oh God! How I wish they can all see this…. The deluded lot. Dunno you but I’m thankful there is still a remnant of the straight thinking few.


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