I had one of those weekends when you think you have all the time in the world –Friday was a public holiday – but before you know it, fiam, it’s Monday.
On Monday, I woke up late. I had made no plans beforehand for the day – what will I wear to work? Of course there was no light, so anything presentable. I opened my wardrobe, brought out a pair of jeans and a top. It was a pair of high- waist jeans pants I have hardly worn out since I got it because people were always saying I look skinny in it. I had no other choice so I wore the jeans and wore a loose top on it (at least I won’t look too skinny, I thought), carried my bag, and went off to join the 21 million others in Lagos.
Immediately I stepped out of the house, I knew wearing the jeans was a mistake. Bus conductors did their thing, every bus I passed, chaiii omo lepa! I entered deaf mode.
Random people on the road, mostly guys, called out. Omo lepa trailed me till I got to the bus stop. Even inside the bus, the conductor was like, “lepa bring your money.” Sigh.
The part that amused me was the women. Seven women (yup, I counted) told me I was too thin. One, an elderly woman, called me aside just after I came down from the bus, face squeezed. Meanwhile, I was running late but she was old enough to be my father, so I stopped. I thought she wanted to ask me something, the way her face looked sad and then she said, “My pikin, this your thin no good o, man go think say you dey sick. You know wetin you go do?”
At that point my face fell. I didn’t reply.
She ignored my expression and went on. “Buy banana, buy am plenty, mash am together,” she curved her palm upwards, using the other one to demonstrate the mashing process. “When e don smooth, pour peak milk inside, no be the powder own o, buy the liquid type. Mix am together, make you dey drink am, morning and evening. Your body go come out well, man go like you.”
The sad look on her face was for me; she pitied me. Brethren I was speechless. So I said thank you ma, and continued my journey amid lepa lepa calls.
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