March 27, 2019

Survival Tips for Christmas 2019 – Viola Okolie

Survival Tips for Christmas 2019 – Viola Okolie

 

Fellow Nigerians,

This is the week when we officially welcome you all back from the Christmas holidays. All the mgburi and mkwari is over.

The “spirit” of Christmas is no longer in the air and for a lot of you, you are coming crashing back down to earth with a bang as you are either currently stranded in the village – wondering what format of online fine barra you will use to raise your transport fare back to the city; or you finally made it back to the city and are now forming annoyance everytime you see the faces of your dependents.

This is school fees week; it is not an easy sontin.

 

 

We are already geared up to start hearing and experiencing the different formats of wailing from people that we did not send off frolicking o, and waiting to see how you all intend to scale the hurdle of the longest month of the year – in case you all have not been told, January officially has one hundred and eighty days and the first ten days are actually a compaction of January 1. So you have January 1, January 1.2, January 1.3 etc until you get to January 1.9 and then the next day is January 2, etc.

In some parts of this world, careful plans are made for the pile up of holidays that occur towards the end of the year. One of those plans, entail savings. People join Christmas savings clubs where they put a little bit of their monthly income aside, accumulating slowly towards the “big day”, so that when it does come, all the expenses associated with the celebration doesn’t “break their hands”.

I know that a lot of Nigerians are like recalcitrant he goats – if you all remember, that was one of the reasons “they” gave us for voting in the current president – and even those stranded in the village as I write are already using the back of their mind to plan the pepper them for 2019 Christmas, even as they haunt the social media profiles of their favorite celebrities, typing “first to comment”, and spilling their souls for a chance to win N3,000; so let me help out by offering you all some tips to make the yuletide season more enjoyable this year, and also to shorten January’s days from 180 to a more manageable 93 or so.

1. We have all agreed that Jesus is omniscient and omnipresent, nehi? That means that he not only has the ability to be in everyplace and one place all at the same time; He also sees all that you are doing wherever you are and is “aware”. Right?

 

So, suggestion number one: stop risking life and limb to travel long distances, spending money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like. It is Jesus’ birthday, not your village god with the short legs’ own. Stay where you are and celebrate Christmas.

Jesus is everywhere. He knows and understands everything. He will be with you wherever you are, see all your efforts (even if that girl wey nack you boot for village that year doesn’t see that you have “arroved”), and will understand with you.

 

ALSO READ:   Recession is not just “a” word, it is  reality – Viola Okolie

2.   It is never too late to plan ahead. All those expenses that just come “suddenly” in January (even though they are recurrent expenses so you already knew they were going to come – no surprises); can be taken care of BEFORE you start spending money on rice, chicken and cloth.

Think about it: on your scale of preferences, which is more important: pepper dem or ensuring your school can return to school without drama in the new year?  For me, number two is more important. So, when you look at all that bulk money in your hands, don’t think of how you will use it to go and display at your village bazaar, don’t be so unfortunate.

 

Call up your children’s school and pay all (or some) of their fees upfront. Give madam money to go and do bulk shopping for the house upfront. Put aside some vex money for all those “go and tell ya daddy that meat haf finish in the soup” situations. When you are all done, look at what is left in your hand and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you on whether travelling without shishi in you pocket is a decision God is part of.

 

Try it and see if January will not reduce to like 60 days  sef.

 

3. Now that we have agreed you all are not going to be causing congestion on the roads while roaming hither and thither, and that you would also take care of January expenses before doing the December spending; please can you all sit down in your own homes and eat your own foods? If you do not feel the pressure to cook to impress any uninvited guests who just happen to drop in to say hi because your house is along their roving path, then you will make a decent but sumptuous feast for your family.

 

You will not feel the pressure to kill one goat and use it to feed the entire street, only to survive the rest of January on skoombia fish (not that skoombia is a bad thing, I like that fish die). You will not feel the need to buy four crates of assorted drinks when there are only four of you in the home.

Arrange a decent feast for you and your family, and thank God for the grace to feed. What would be the point spending one day on feeding your entire community when you know that for the next 180 days makes one month, you will be “franking” face for the wife of your youth?

 

See, if we continue with this, the list will not end and of course, we are not saying that if you can afford to travel and have a very loud and wild Christmas in 2019, that you shouldn’t just to keep us happy. Matter of fact, this epistle is not direct at your likes.

 

It is directed at the likes of those who feel the pressure to travel and do all the other mme mmes because other people are doing them, meanwhile if they can only hold up their fingers to their face and take a good look at it, they will see the universal truth God has equipped all humans with.

 

ALSO READ: If you work from home, chop knuckle – Viola Okolie

 

No go dey do pass yourselves biko.

 

Things are hard.

 

Area is tight.

 

Make necessary adjustments and use this January to start planning and implementing action plans for December 2019 and as you do, remember that God is omnipotent and omnipresent. You don’t need to travel to the village to see him, he is not your village juju.

 

Celebrate in the most convenient and less stressful way for you (or not at all); God will understand.

 

Lilian Osigwe Editor

A Creative and Versatile Writer.  
Currently writes for SabiNews Media

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