Yes, o, we are still on top of this matter.
So now that we have agreed we need to be a little less prudish about sex, one of the strongest objections to discussing sex freely I have encountered have used children as an excuse, “Hah, why are you talking about sex so openly, do you want to corrupt the children and lead them astray”.
Not to disparage those who think that sex is only allowed within the confines of a marriage and any attempts to discuss it otherwise is just evil, permit me to please tell you why I think sex as a topic should be freely discussed in the home, the schools, everywhere…
- Pedophiles: Do you think that those who molest children especially in familiar spaces like the homes, schools and churches start out with saying to them, “hey, let’s have sex”? No they don’t. Some of them groom their target children over a period of time, to get comfortable around them so they drop their guards. Some others seize a moment and carry out their dastardly acts…
But more often than not, this is how it starts:
“Fine small girl/boy, come here. Ah, you look good o. Come and look at this thing that I want to show you. Do you know what it is? No? This is a sausage, but you don’t chew this one. You put it in your mouth and you lick it. Do you want to lick my own? Put it in your mouth and lick it and I will give you milk to drink after…” etc.
Please parents do not shy away from discussing sex with your children. Call the sex organs by their proper names: “Penis”, “breast” and “vagina”. Not “pingolo” and “front bumbum”. Tell them how sex happens, tell them the conditions in which sex happens.
Let them know how and what could make them uncomfortable in relationships with same and opposite sex. Tell them about expected changes in their bodies, let them know that when they feel uncomfortable, they should either refuse to heed a call or call for help.
When you allow your children learn about sex on their own, they pick up the bad first. They wonder why you do not want that word or the act discussed and when predators prey on and inseminate their fertile minds, they will shroud all experiences with sex in secrecy.
- Teenage Pregnancy…
A whole lot of children escape their childhood without having any hurried toilet groping incidents with their peers, or being molested by adults. A whole lot of teenagers however, get into a whole lot of stuff they would never tell you about except the inevitable happens, and they begin to “blossom”.
Talk to your children about sex and talk to them about contraception.
Will sex happen with your teenage children? Probably, yes! Will you get to hear about it? Most probably not! So while you shove all that morality stuff down their throats and force them into every church activity there is going (watch out for that choir master though) in an attempt to “preserve their innocence”, once in a while, sit them down and have the sex talk with them.
Talk to them about contraception.
Talk to them about teenage pregnancy. Whatever you do, don’t ever tell them “if a man just touches you like this, you will get pregnant”. That is a lie and you know it!
Talk to them about how much or less having a child at an unprepared stage can tamper with their goals.
Talk to them before a peer talks them into allowing him to “just put the head in, I won’t move. You won’t get pregnant from just one time, I promise!”
- Those full grown adults with repressed sexual fantasies.
- You ask a sex question as a child and your mother slaps your mouth shut. Then you see two dogs in the neighbourhood going at it and you are fascinated. One day, you catch the neighbourhood dog and try to do what you saw the other dog doing to it.
- He is afraid to come to you after his first wet dream because the day you walked in on him watching a PG sex scene on the television, you whipped the living daylights out of him. So he confides in his “friend”, who quickly types in a porn site on his handheld device, and they watch as a group of men stick it to a ho’ from every hole in her body.
He is fascinated.
They hatch a plot, trolling the streets, searching for a hapless, defenceless victim.
Stories that touch!
Being open to sex and discussions about sex takes away a lot of “mystery” we unwittingly shroud the act in. There is a lot of material available on sex that discusses it in a “non-invasive” way if that is the major issue. Don’t hush up, divert or distract whatever questions come out of it. Discuss them as frankly and openly as you can, these kids pick up a whole lot more than you can imagine from outside the home. Your child should be free enough to discuss sex with you and expect frank, clear and lucid responses from you.
Add to all the above the nymphomaniacs, constantly seeking validation through sex because they erroneously think that sex stamps acceptance and/or love on the parties involved; the frigid as hell who does not want to go to hell because they had sex even in a marriage; the ones who would come up with the he/she used me mentality when a relationship goes south even though both parties enjoyed the sex act, etc etc.
All these can be avoided if we treat sex with a little less fear and a lot more openness. If we talked about sex with the confidence with which we discuss football without having the feeling that society is standing over you with a pen and paper, ready to write down your name for breaching the morality code of conduct.
The internet is here with us, it is getting faster and freer every day. The kids you strive to protect so much will pick up random facts off the internet, their peers or “extremely concerned adults”. The secular artistes are also here to stay, however much you censor their entertainment children get exposed to a whole lot more than they would admit to you.
Please, talk to your children about sex before the wrong person does.