In Case You Missed It, Nigeria has entered the “gear four” of preparations for next year’s general elections.
The stage is set, plans to rig using all the apparatuses of power at their disposal are in high gear (gear tiri); and the where were we wear were where we wear etc etc.
In order to make it seem though like the ruling party APC is preparing for this election in ways that are not too related to the words “rigging” and “opposition suppression”; a debate was attended by one of the most intelligent man in all of Nigeria and Africa – Pastor You Know Who – the current Vice President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Also in attendance at that debate, were the penny-pinching former governor of Anambra State and now a contender for the VP position as running mate to Alhaji Atiku Abubakar; two women like this who nearly made me regret ever saying things like “Nigeria is ripe for a female president”; and one other man like that – allegedly the VP to Haunty Oby Butiku Ezekwesilli – who came to intimidate us with his kongosa and nothing else.
So, in case you missed that debate, here are four remarkable take-away from that experience to bear in mind as you prepare for the elections:
1. Repeat after me: there is no third force. Again? One more time? Good. The Nigerian problem is a serious one, if the debate was anything to reckon with. The brain drain is real and it is either that, or that Nigeria is majoring in the minor – chasing ethnic sentiments – rather than keeping their eye on the major problem which is getting Nigeria to work again. It was clear to see that all the parties were not making choices based on competence, but in “how for do”. Appeasing sentiments and in so doing, not even going for the sharpest knives in the drawer, just throwing their hands in there and grabbing whatever they lay their hands on. Many were the times I cringed listening to some potential Vice Presidents as they grappled with basic understanding of Nigerian issues.
There were only two forces at that debate – PDP and the APC. Every other person there was what the Igbo call “mmezi”; Yoruba call “fi si”; and the Hausa call “jara”. This is a serious matter o. Even though we largely believe that Vice Presidents just “sit in their offices, drink tea and read newspapers”; they are also back up Presidents. Did any of those other people on that stage that day inspire confidence in anyone? Did they look like they even understood what the responsibility they were offering to take on entailed? Did anyone else notice how they floundered all through the debate? This is sad. Judging from the “best eleven” that was put on display; there is no third force.
2. It appears that “we die here” is not just a social media slang, it is even the current Presidential model of administration. If someone enters your shop and steals your goods, “we die here”. Probably explains why there is a growing belief that Nigeria has seemingly been on a downward spiral since the inception of this administration; it appears we are not focused on securing the country’s coffers, but have thrown the gates wide open and left it wide open, choosing rather to embark on a desperate chase after “thieves” – which again can be loosely translated to mean “opposition figures”.
And this shouldn’t come as that much of a shock to all of us anyway. If you recall prior to the 2015 elections, just about the only major selling point for the incoming administration was the ability to catch thieves.
Despite the glaring need to improve key aspects of the economy such as transportation, education, the health sector and others, all we kept hearing was they talk about kworruption (corruption).
When the discourse finally switches to economic indices, the level of engagement leaves a lot more to be desired. Oh yes. Promises such as bringing the Naira to parity with the dollar, paying unemployed Nigeria youth N5,000 per month and feeding pupils in public schools such that even their parents will want to come back and enroll in nta akara, just to experience another level of American wonder!
Indeed, it seemed they were here to run after the thief until they catch him and jail him. And if while they were on that pursuit, fifty other thieves got into the shop, by Jove they will run after those ones too until they catch them and jail them.
Life a na a ga a ga.
3. Someone needs to wake the APC up, yo! Tap an APC person near to you and say to him, brethren the year is 2018. We do not want to hear what PDP did or did not do; tell us what you have done since you came into power in 2015, and since you feel you did well enough to seek re-election, tell us what you plan to do next. All this talk of PDP did this and PDP did that, is all old school. And just in case you need a solid reminder, 80% of the APC were disgruntled PDP elements. So, “16 years of PDP misrule”; is a joint venture of the PDP and the APC.
And just so you know, the more you keep pointing fingers at the PDP instead of focusing on running your campaign; the more you remind Nigerians that the cost of goods, services and living was astronomically lower during the PDP’s 16 years in power. With your three and a half years, you have used the mouth of Nigerians to wipe ground. If I were you, I would stop mentioning the PDP. I would move myself out of that particular rot. Because the more you blame the PDP; the more you seem to be telling the people that they sold their baboon to purchase a dog.
Ihe ntukwu – squatting sturvs!
4. Finally, we are where we were wear wearing where we were where wear were. Thank you, VP!
Defending an incumbent can never be an easy sontin. Shebi if you had chosen the right thing to resign from, we will not be where we were wear by now? You would have not been the subject of funny memes all over Naija cyber space? But instead of you to resign as VP; you chose to resign as Pastor instead, perhaps in the hope that, as prophesied by Daddy GO, you would one day be President.
Conveniently forgetting that Nigeria is ruled by cabals who once propped up a comatose president for months without end, creating a constitutional log-jam.
Thank you for that word salad; it was the highest point of the debate.