‘Sologamy’ is the practice of marrying yourself as a way of boosting or affirming your self-esteem. Reports are coming in of women from California to the UK, mostly in their thirties, taking the next step with themselves, saying, “Alright, I’ll take your outmoded tradition, your patriarchal road to ruin, and I’ll make it about myself in every single way.”
Sologamy isn’t recognized in the US or Europe. However, while it might not be a legally binding union, it is part of a growing self-empowerment movement. The benefits are plentiful—no pressure to change your perfectly decent surname, no doing sex with the same body again and again, no resentment over a lopsided chore schedule. It’s all about real self-love. So you can see why people are into it.
Sasha Cagen is a life coach who offers lessons on how to embrace what she calls the “quirkyalone” lifestyle: a way of being for those who find themselves terminally single and just want to appreciate being alone until something perfect comes along romantically, if ever. Cagen is an advocate of the self-wedding, which she views as a much-needed coming-of-age ritual that functions like a bat mitzvah or a quinceañera.
She wrote a book about when self-weddings first started happening in northern California ten years ago, and she now runs a business off of the ritual. Plenty of women have gotten self-married directly as a result of her ideas and direction. Read more