So many things are making me go “hmmmmmm”? Viola Okolie

So many things are making me go “hmmmmmm”? Viola Okolie

This week, there are two things  actually, that have been nibbling away at the top of my mind. If you accumulate all the “hmmmmmmmm” I have gone and done this week, it would be enough to rebuild Nigeria’s lost glory and restore us to our place as the “Giants of Africa”.


  1. How is it that those who cry out “oppression” daily and go blue in the face while wailing for their rights to be allowed their choice and freedom to express that choice as much as every other human on the face of this earth, are always the same group of people to NOT understand another person’s right to a choice?

You know all of them hormonal women on social media? The ones who are first to find the specter of a man behind every travail they face – real or imagined. Men are the reasons why they cannot this and that and the other one and that other one too. Men are the reasons why they have been unable to grow wings and fly and they hope to raise their daughters (whom I suspect they plan to conceive without the assistance of sperm donated from any male), to “make better choices” hoohoohoohoo, yada yada yada yada ad nauseam.

Yet these same group of humans bestride social media space, looking out for people who disagree with them to shut them down. They will band together and mass report your social media profile to Ichie Zuckerberg who will quickly throw you inside Facebook kirikiri to break stones and repent of your (non) sins at leisure with a bowl of cyber beans-and-weevils. They will make up stories about you in order to smear your image and resort to blackmail at the snap of a finger. No fight is too dirty for them, they will drag children, spouses and parents into every dirty cyber war at the blink of a (false) eyelash.

They clamour for freedom, equality and choice yet the concept of freedom, equality and choice in any context different to their own definition, is alien to them.

They are quick to wail about loss of their rights while ensuring they deny everyone else theirs.

If you call them Facebook Feminists, na you sabi!

Next are the religionistas. These ones bewail every known oppression known to man yet seem to miss the irony in the fact that they will go into villages and burn down ancestral shrines, cultural artefacts and all traces or linkages to their culture. These ones have been so brainwashed by colonialists that they see all things related to their culture as evil.

Interestingly, one religion is more guilty of this than any other. While they bemoan oppression by their muslim brethren, they ensure that their own oppression of traditionalists and other Christians who do not worship the way they do, is re-baptised as “deliverance, casting out demons, winning souls, etc etc”.

The thing tire me. If everybody can just maintain their lane, there would be world peace.

Then the third group in phase one, are the Buharists.

These ones are a special breed. When their old man was struggling (for 12 years) to get into power, there was no insult too malicious to hurl the way of the sitting president. They insulted him and his wife, lampooned them, made up all sorts of stories about them, wished death on him and his kith and kin and celebrated every single misfortune that befell the President like they just won a world cup.

Tables turned.

Now, you can’t even refer to their old man as “Mpa Nnukwu – The Unaware. First of His Name and Principal of the Tribe of Daurans.” You can’ t tell them that their old man, our President, speaks Fulfulde with a touch of English Accent, hence his need to always have an English to English translator at every important meeting he has with anyone who speaks said English.

They will get angry and report you to Ichie Zuckerberg for another jail term in Facebook Kirikiri Maximum.

Is it fair like that? Is what is good for Boniface not also good for Boniback?


  1. This spate of defections from APC to PDP and PDP to APC with even APGA and UPP trying to get in on the action; and some people running around, looking po-faced as they try to make their imminent defection to APC look like passing compacted constipated stools, and all other sorts of political monkeyshines currently trending.

The politicians don’t worry me. As usual, they are just looking out for their own interests. There is little or no concern for the common man involved.

It is you.

And I.

We The People.

I look at us going into multiple orgasmic contractions as we celebrate the defections, applaud one team, boo the other, do all our political beer parlor analysis and I just heave a huge sigh and go “hmmmmmmm”.

We don’t seem to get it, do we?

A politician contests in PDP and wins. He rides the waves of popular sentiments and cross carpets to APC after whipping up the susceptibilities and emotions of the people with a lot of well aimed propaganda. The people rejoice and spur him on and reward him with their votes. He however knows that the APC sentiments are built on a shaky foundation so he observes the people and times a well aimed defection back to PDP.

The people rejoice and spur him on and reward him with their votes as the vicious circle continues.

He sings for his “opponents”. A meaning less song with jumbled up lyrics supposed to “pepper” his traducers but in reality, mocking the gullibility of the electorates as he plans his next “move”.





Round and round the village.

That is why people like the Ebora of Owu are still sitting pretty with a crooked finger in every sort of politics going in the country and we the people, we don’t see how we are being scammed by these politicians daily.

We don’t see how ten electoral cycles from today, we will still be here cheering and spurring on these same usual suspects as they usher their children and their grandchildren to continue the tradition of looting our collective wealth for their private use, while we refuse to be dizzy-ed by all the back-forth-back-forth.

We will be there, clapping and cheering and spurring them on and allowing ourselves to be used as pawns in their dirty business and rewarding them with our votes.

All the while assuring our children that they will be the “leaders of tomorrow’.


E reach to tire person, jare.



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