Tinder exploded in 2012 everyone became easily expendable, mirroring the throwaway society we live in.
“Men could speak to multiple women at once at the touch of a button and so to beat the competition, women started giving what hadn’t been earned, thinking it would keep the man.
“Men realised if they lied or manipulated women they could get sex very easily.
“I’m giving advice that can turn back the clocks to a pre tinder state of dating and that will only be done by women taking the lead and following these simple steps that may go against their natural urges, it about being mindful and thinking logically.”
1. Don’t reply to messages straight away, this is all about dopamine and scarcity principle. As soon as you reply straight away, you become predictable, which takes away anticipation and that plays a huge factor in the build up of dopamine in the brain.
2. Don’t have expectations in men you hardly know, a man must be consistently persistent over time with actions matching words and that doesn’t happen in the first couple of dates.
3. Never give what’s not been earned (that includes sex, time and trust). When you give what’s not been earned you set yourself up for a huge fall. It always hurts more.
4. Don’t have sex until you know a man well. That will involves daily communication and at least four dates to all be in the public eye. There are many reasons why but the main two are it’s a huge part of the chase.
5. Make sure your intentions match. As soon as you find out they don’t then you need to sever all ties. Don’t think you’re the exception, if you’re just a sexual conquest that won’t change in to a long-term relationship. The only time in tends change is when you go from a possible long-term prospect to a sexual conquest. Never the other around.
6. Block all men that are longer a part of your life. That doesn’t make you petty or rude, it’s about self-preservation.
7. If dating becomes all consuming then understand it’s OK to take a break. Like they say, “you can’t pour from an empty cup” .
8. Be self aware, know your worth and make sure you’re ready to date and date for the right reasons. Don’t date because you’re lonely or heartbroken, date when you’re ready to.
9. Make sure you have boundaries that include not replying to messages after 10 pm and making sure that all dates are set well in advance (at least four days). If you’re the last minute lover you’re probably the last thing on his mind. Save spontaneity until you’re at least exclusive.
10. Make sure the first date is a one hour coffee/non alcoholic date. That one hour stops alcohol clouding the mind and lowering inhibitions and of course it’s safer.