Aso Rock released a statement this afternoon highlighting the achievements notched up under the watch of their principal. A statement credited to the office of the Quite Senior Junior Adviser to the President read in full:
“While members of the opposition party and disgruntled ex-PDP members continue with their campaign of calumny, the Jonathan administration remains resolute and committed to its transformation agenda.
Reports reaching us indicate that Nigerians are beginning to feel the effects of the transformation agenda. Only recently, the president performed the ground breaking ceremony of the second Niger bridge intended to bring succour to our igbo brothers and make their annual Christmas ritual a lot easier.
The recent unbundling of NEPA has led to improved electricity supply. Most areas now have light for one and half hours daily instead of the usual 1 hour. The fuel queues which surfaced recently have also been cleared. In other news, the much maligned Nigerian military is recording amazing feats against the terrorist organisation, Boko Haram, following the Presidents’ re-organisation of the Defence ministry.
But the most thrilling news was conveyed to us by a Nigerian citizen who said that in the past 4 weeks he has consistently found 3 pieces of fish inside his tin of sardine. (please see exclusive picture)
For Nigerians long accustomed to seeing only two pieces of fish inside their tin of sardine tin, what can be better evidence of the success of the transformational agenda and rebasing of the economy?
Let naysayers persist, the president will not be deterred.”
Surprisingly, the APC has not reacted to these audacious claims. Calls and text messages sent to APC were not returned.