Why will a woman leave a good man? – Peju Akande

Why will a woman leave a good man? – Peju Akande

So, I was told this story that trended last week.

Guy, who claims to be a good boyfriend, goes ghost mode on his girlfriend. He poses as a medical doctor, living in Port Harcourt and sends a friend request to his girlfriend on Facebook. She accepts the request and subsequently phone numbers are exchanged. The two became involved in serious chats and nude photo exchanges.

The babe told ‘new bae’ she loved her current boyfriend but will not marry him because they are genetically incompatible – this of course is not true. (perhaps she was hoping for a bigger fish)

Old boyfriend pretends he has no clue his babe is in a steamy sextext relationship with ‘another guy’, even though many times, both are seated side by side and busy chatting with the ‘other’ person….(isn’t this the story of our lives?)

Katakata burst when ‘new bae’ invites girlfriend to Port Harcourt to come see him, she agrees, tells old bobo she wants to go see her sick mother in Port Harcourt. That’s when Bobo lost it. He accused her of cheating, showed her the messages they had been exchanging and according to him, the most painful was when she sent photos of her real boobs…(having handled the real goods, he knew she didn’t send fake photos)

I had a good laugh over this, me thinks, na wetin bobo dey find, hin get; his bait was too juicy to ignore, plus the babe must have seen things about him that told her, perhaps, this isn’t the real deal. Who knows?

But come o, what are the things that could make a girl decide to leave or stay with a good guy? I did a bit of research, spoke to a few people and some pointers stood out.

  1. He loves me and I know it… when a man loves a woman, she will know it, she will feel it, she will glow! He will have his bad days but he will never let her forget how much she means to him and how deeply he loves her…it’s hard to leave this kind of dude.

  1. With you, I am safe…nothing makes a woman leave a relationship faster than the feeling of insecurity. A good man makes her feel safe; emotionally and physically…(and yes may be financially, too but not necessarily so.) Like someone said, the best compliment any woman can pay a man is to let him know she feels safe….she’s in to stay
  2. Stand up for the champions…he’ll be there to cheer her through her wins and defeats; she can always count on him to encourage her to be her best whether it be in pursuit of a career, in her academics, in life…what woman will leave an encourager?

 

  1. You’re beautiful…it’s true: he sees her beauty from the inside out; she will notice it in the way he touches her, the way he looks at her especially when she makes the effort to look beautiful. …she ain’t going to leave someone who boosts her self esteem.
  2. Trust in me, in all you do…this is basically the foundation of any relationship. A good guy who has earned her trust will fight to keep what he earned…when she trusts you, no shaking!
  3. I want to grow with you… a man in love always wants to improve himself; he wants to be a better man, first for himself and then for her…and as he gets better, he inspires her to grow with him…who no want better life?

 

  1. If your love for me stops to show…he will never be abusive; not physically, not emotionally; he’ll never cross the line. Hints of an abusive partner become obvious when she begins to accept behaviours that were previously unacceptable; quarrels get down to screaming matches where ultimatums are given…she go go, o.
  2. He never stops doing the little things…they often add up to make a big difference. He’s a good guy if he pays attention to the little things; a call, a text message, a cup of tea…they always add up for the woman. She’ll stick around.

There are a million other reasons of course why a woman would leave her man…please feel free to add yours.

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