Just before I settle into getting wetin dey pepper me today off my chest, I am sitting in the lobby of the University of Maryland Medical Centre; and I feel like sending out a prayer for everyone who has ever held a political office in Nigeria today.
May God reward you for all your mismanagement, looting and plundering of Nigeria’s resources in like measure.
You know what the Bible says about abundant blessings: pressed down, shaken together and running over.
For every kobo you stole or diverted out of Nigeria’s treasury into your personal use, let the forces of the universe divert every iota of peace and progress headed your way.
In my sadness, I raise both hands up for those doctors who still struggle against all odds; to see that the average Nigerian gets the best out of the rotten and rotting healthcare system we have back home.
And yet all these people (they know themselves), check out of the country at the first sign of a headache. They go to places like where I am seated now, where medical errors are just that – medical errors.
Death is just what it is – an act of God – that occurs when science has done all it can; when the grim reaper just insists that your time is up.
And it will not be for lack of equipment, manpower or resources, that anyone who walks through their doors would walk out unattended to.
What is this Nigerian obsession with stripping people naked and behaving like beasts at the farthest end of civilization?
Na wa o!
My first encounter with people stripping other people naked was some time in the early 90s. We were still skinny little brats, the sorts that would stand at the heavily secured gates of their parents’ houses. And we would peep out through the slats at the bustling life in the neighborhood.
We had our friends whose house doors opened directly into the streets; and they were the couriers of street gist for those of us ‘less privileged’.
Well, we also had a row of ‘face-me-I-face-you’ room and parlor apartments that we rented out; and some of the occupants there were good for entertainment.
On this fateful day, we heard a banging on the gate and it was one of our gist couriers.
“Come quick, come quick. Aunty Ada and Aunty Josephine want to fight and them don tear each other brazemade.” That was the name we called brassiere back then sha.
Yes o, the two ladies were about to fight over a man and had followed the Nigerian code book of public justice delivery, by first stripping each other naked.
Of course, we all ran out into the street to watch the public spectacle and got so carried away that we didn’t notice when the keeper of the prison keys (aka Mumsie), came home to an empty house.
She came in search of the jailbreakers; found us engaging in the even more grievous crime of lookery; and dragged us into the house by our ears where she proceeded to reset our brains that had obviously gone out of alignment.
That would perhaps be the first time I witnessed adults stripping other adults naked, in order to render them defenseless against whatever assaults they had planned for them.
I have seen so many videos that I now summarily jump and pass anything video on social media. I rather wait to piece together the stories from other commentators to decide whether it is worth my while to burn my data on watching what appears to make Nigeria tick.
A woman is allegedly caught kidnapping a child – strip her naked.
A young lady is allegedly caught stealing a phone – strip her naked.
A man is allegedly picking pockets in a busy market place – strip him naked.
Ngozi suspects Nkiru is sleeping with her husband. Ngozi matches down to Nkiru’s house with a couple of thugs to strip her naked and record the incident on video.
The list of minor infractions for which the suspicion of being engaged in can earn you a trip down a crowded street, naked. And it would come with a variety of allegedly sane and busy people throwing all sorts of objects at you. They may also be attempting to hang a used tyre on your neck and lynch you.
And we say we are sane?
We can see why we continue to attract the sort of leaders who do not consider us worthy of anything good in this life? The sort of leaders who treat us like the brutes we consistently portray ourselves to be?
Giant of Africa that continues to act like somebody misplaced the ‘GI’ in their nomenclature.
And what’s worse?
Listening to allegedly civilized humans on social media, some of whom are currently within the age range of 18-40.
Those same ‘leaders of tomorrow,’ the very ones we have dubiously placed our hopes of being a better generation of Nigerians than our generation and every other one before us, attempt to justify these stripping and lynching.
Ehn, police will just take a bribe and release them.
Ehn, if you have ever been robbed before, you will know how far.
Ehn, why are you supporting adultery? Are you also a side chick?
Ehn, the gains of motherhood are what this kidnapper is trying to deny the mother.
This is why we attract the sort of leaders we continue to vote in every electoral cycle; and this is why we reject those who could actually hunker down and get Nigeria working again.
Maybe it is high time every Nigerian started walking the streets naked so that when we see someone who has been accused of committing a crime different from the ones we all find ways to commit on a daily basis, stripping the person naked would not be the first thing on our minds.
Maybe na even that time we go rush find cloth take cover the person.
Because we Nigerians, yayayarism is in our DNA.