“I got a visa, I am travelling tomorrow.’’ I kept a straight face, at first. Then I realised the implication of keeping a straight face.
“Oh wow!!! Congratulations. I am so happy for you.” I said that several times so as to convince the person.
It’s not that I wasn’t happy for this person but how will I interact with a person every single day for the last few years and bare my heart to this person and the person NEVER mentions once any intention of travelling abroad.
Now that the journey is a day away, this person is announcing and watching my expressions closely.
If I don’t show excitement, this person will say that I am an enemy of progress. Even though telling me ahead might have made me rush to my go-to babalawo that is in charge of frustrating Visa applications because I don’t want anyone to travel abroad. If they do travel abroad, I may not be able to function ever again.
I am tired of this thing in Nigeria that makes everyone suggest to everyone else that people are witches and wizards and that they are actively trying to mess up your life.
“You don’t know who is who…”
You want to go to an interview. “No tell anybody o, I know somebody that told and did not get the job.”
You are pregnant, “Ah, you put a picture on facebook… REMOVE IT NOW!!! The demons that are omnipresent have decided it is easier to stalk facebook to find out who is pregnant and to terminate the pregnancy.”
You told somebody your EDD. “ARE YOU MAD!!! The devil that is powerful enough to kill your unborn child is powerless when it comes to finding out when you will deliver. If you tell someone the EDD, they will tell him and your pregnancy will be lost.”
You are travelling. “Blood sucking road, air and water demons will not know when you are travelling unless you tell them.”
You are engaged. “Why are you telling your friends? That was how this girl told her friends she was engaged, the friend went and snatched the fiancé and now she is an old maid with no chance of marrying.”
It is crazy. I have said some of these things before, not because I know for a fact that they are true but it is repeated so often that I find myself mindlessly making inane conversations in Nigerianese. This paranoia is real.
People explain away every single inconvenience by tracing it to some all-powerful enemy.
Teebillz just did it by accusing his mother in-law and father of having a hand in how he has failed in his ventures and responsibilities
I have heard of how a woman said she lost a pregnancy. She claimed a woman she met in the market rubbed her stomach and from that day nothing went right till she lost her pregnancy.
That is the reason why I am very careful. I do not hold people’s babies unless they are given to me. I don’t want anybody’s child growing up and failing WAEC and having someone trace the reason of the failure back to the time I carried the baby.
“The baby cried one kind that day and since then, e no gree waka early or e no even talk early again.” It is the reason I pretend not to notice a pregnancy till the carrier speaks about it.
40,years ago your uncle refused to go to school and played local league football for 3 years till he had an injury and couldn’t play. People tried to get him back to school, he refused. He kept on working towards a comeback. Now he is 63 and has never had a steady source of income and you REALLY want us to believe it was his Aunty that caused it?
You are walking down the stairs recently fixed by your landlord, you miss a step and your ankle gets swollen. Your landlord has probably buried some charm underneath the stairs, the aim is to steal your star (whatever that means).
I am tired and done with the paranoia. I want to live like Oyinbo do. They announce pregnancies with scanned pictures and proceed to give monthly updates, you will know the sex of the baby once they know. At the end of the day, they will give birth to healthy babies. Is that not freedom from bondage?
I have actually visited a woman that just had a child (about 2weeks old), I asked the name of the baby and I got funny looks and was told that the baby hadn’t been named yet and that I will be duly informed.
I was upset at first. Then I laughed. I still do not know the name of the baby (who is probably 5 now) and frankly speaking, it is of no use to me.
When I gave birth, I was asked if I wanted to take the placenta. I was appalled and declined quickly. Someone told me that my child’s star can be stolen through the placenta. What makes this even more ridiculous is that a Christian said this. ARE YOU READING THE BIBLE? Where are we getting this SHIT from?????
In a country with a moribund system and comatose institutions, we choose to blame each other and unseen spirits. We live life looking over our shoulders.
Remember how our mothers told us not to eat in other people’s houses? They passed down this irrational fear that everyone out there is plotting to harm us.
When a family member falls ill, we hide and hide till it gets to a point that we cannot hide death. We give birth to a child with challenges then we hide them, heaven knows why… Husband and wife are loving themselves till the wife becomes more successful, suddenly ‘she is using his star’. His family will get angry and start flinging accusations till husband believes this. (Notice, a more successful husband is normal, it is ok to use the woman’s ‘star’.)
This is bondage, folks.
Yes, we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and powers.
But at the same time, our weapons of warfare are not CARNAL. We put on the full Armour of God.
Loins girted with TRUTH
Breastplate of RIGHTEOUSNESS
Feet shod with the preparation of the GOSPEL OF PEACE
Shield of FAITH
Helmet of SALVATION
Sword of the Spirit which is the WORD OF GOD.
Praying, supplicating in the Spirit and watching.
So if you are supposedly spiritual, paranoia, suspicion and empty speculation will not shield you from evil. The bible prescribed how to protect oneself (as I am sure other religions do).
If we say that we believe God is good, why do we uphold the power of evil over good (God)?
Lastly, never accuse anyone of witchcraft. You cannot prove it and you malign a person for life. Unless you saw them in the coven casting spells (wetin carry you go if you no be member), then please you have no right to call the person a witch.
Can I get an amen somebody?
(abi make I open shurch….?)
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