May 26, 2018

Young boy/old woman: That’s nasty? – Peju Akande

Young boy/old woman: That’s nasty? – Peju Akande

This is not a story about cougars and cubs where an older woman gratifies her sexual desire with a willing young blood, no.

We all read the Ireti rape story, virtually all columnists of sabinews and elsewhere voiced their outrage over the incident that broke first on Facebook, thanks to Michale Matthew.

Something else came out of the story. Oh, not just the fact that the government of Lagos state has rounded up the perpetrators of this daylight rape, we are really thankful for that.

What has turned up is foul! It is nasty! It is a rot that has been festering for too long. A reader commented on how his son was lured to sexual acts by a senior student; and how the young boy was being rehabilitated and counselled. So while we were all busy focusing on boy against girl, what about the slowly rising cases of senior girl preying on a junior boy?

I can’t imagine what trauma the parents of this boy must have gone through upon finding out that their son was being used by an older girl for sexual gratification.

This is not a cougar cub situation, this is child abuse, and it is a crime, even if committed by a minor. When a boy is forced to have sex with an older woman consistently, the boy is being prepared to be a sexual predator later in life… except there is an intervention.

It’s not unusual anymore to hear stories of young boys being dis-virgined by older girls, women, aunties in whose care these boys have been kept; it hardly raises our blood pressure when stories of boys as victims of sexual predators make the rounds. Now in secondary schools, it’s no longer odd to find senior secondary school girls preying on Junior secondary school boys and introducing them to sex, early on.

We just go ‘hmmm.’

The issue of older women and young boys is nothing new; I agree if both are adults, meaning the boy is 21 years and above but where the boy is still underage, it isn’t right.

This is abhorrent!

The news of the newly elected French president got me thinking deep thoughts particularly when I said I openly supported his choice of an older woman for wife; she’s older by 24 years! I thought it was double standards if we say it’s ok to accept the 24 year age gap between Trump and Melania for instance and yet raise our noses at the same age gap between Emmanuel Macron and Brigitte, his wife simply because the man is the younger partner.

I was soon to understand how double standards work when my teenage son took me up on it.

‘So you say it’s ok to marry an older woman?’

‘Why not?’ I answered self-righteously. One year, two, even five-year gap isn’t a bad thing, na abi?

He replied, ‘Ok, o. I wish there’s a tape recorder here to record your words for the future…’

I didn’t let him finish, ‘My friend, you are not Macron! You hear me? You are not Macron, common go and read for your exams joo!’

‘Ha! I knew it,’ The silly boy laughed and walked off!

What did I just say? He’s not Macron.

It’s not my business nor anyone else’s for that matter, who a man chooses as his wife but when I read that the love between this two began way back when Macron was still in high school and Brigitte a school teacher in the same school, I paused to reflect.

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Of course, like any parent would, Macron’s parents opposed the relationship between Brigitte and their young son, not just because they thought the school mistress was way too old but perhaps also because they thought it was unethical even by French standards, this is unprecedented. Macron will be the only leader of France’s Fifth Republic to have such a huge age gap between him and his partner.

But Macron apart, I do hope there was nothing sexual between him and the madame when he was still in high school. I am worried for the sons we send to school who end up having not just a crush on a senior girl or even their school mistress but are being lured to have sex with them.

This isn’t making these boys men, it’s child abuse of the grossest type and the guilty should be brought to justice!

Not too long ago the story of a 4-year-old boy being sexually molested by his female teacher made the rounds on WhatsApp. The boy had been taught to finger the school mistress. It was disgusting to read and rather than share, I simply deleted it; while many contacts even queried the veracity of the story; we just couldn’t accept that a woman, who had kids of her own could do such a thing; aha but she did!

Our decision to bury, too quickly, stories about boys being molested by older females is mostly because we see women as the virtuous species, the kind, and good version of man…the ones you can count on not to be so evil but even the heart of a woman can be desperately wicked and who can know it?.


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